Shadows of Hope
by xiao chan
Summary: AU: "Bella, can’t you see?" Edward whispered. "Even when I was human, I was never alive. I was never able to truly breathe until I met you. You are everything to me now and forever, and if you die then I would die as well."
1. Bella: First Day

**Disclaimer: In no way do I own the characters of Twilight or New Moon. If I did, my name would be Stephenie Meyers and I wouldn't be writing fanfiction on my own story. Because that would be more than a little conceited.**

**Summary: Edward Cullen is indestructible, causing him to take the beauty of life for granted. Bella Swan, the sweet, peaceful new girl shows him just how precious life can truly be. It's AU, but that's what fanfiction's all about!**

**A/N - So yeah...I know the story idea is a bit overused, but this is different. I promise. I wanted to give a little bit of depth to the characters (especially Bella). And by depth I mean a little more wisdom and more complex emotions. I hope you guys enjoy it. It's my first Twilight fanfiction, so please feel free to tell me if it sucks or not.**

**Bella: First Day**

"Mom, I'm fine," I told her exasperatedly for the millionth time.

She sighed. "I know, I know," she said as she fixed the scarf around my neck. "It's just…it's your first day of school. I'm so worried for you."

"I'm not going to collapse in the middle of class, Mom, I promise," I told her as I kissed her on the cheek. She opened her mouth, but I cut her to the chase with, "And if I feel the slightest bit woozy, I swear I will call you and then you can take me home."

She smiled tentatively as Dad walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Bells," he said in a happy voice. Bless him, I thought to myself as he kissed my mother on the cheek. He wanted to act as if this was normal for me, instead of making it into such a big deal like Mom. "Ready to go?"

I nodded, barely able to keep my excitement inside. I gave my mother one last hug and she squeezed me back. "Take care of yourself, sweetie," she whispered through the tears welling in her eyes.

I nodded and kissed her on the forehead as a reassurance. Then I grabbed my bag and followed Dad out the door and into the cruiser. Mom watched on the front step of the house and waved goodbye as he pulled out of the driveway. We both waved back and watched her furiously wipe away at the tears spilling down her cheeks.

"So," Dad began.

"So," I replied playfully. He flashed a grin my way.

"Are you excited?"

I nodded. "Yeah. And I'm a little nervous. I'm not really sure what to expect."

He nodded too. "You'll do fine," he reassured me. "You've always been a smart kid, and the other kids are nice enough."

"Thanks, Dad."

The rest of the ride, though short, was silent. It was better this way. I knew my father was just as worried about my well-being as my mother was, but he was more supportive of my decision to start going to public school. He wanted me to experience everything I could out of life before…well, before it was too late.

After ten minutes, he pulled into the parking lot of a building that was marked with a huge sign that read Forks High School. My heart started pounding excitedly when I saw the other students making their way around the buildings.

"Do you want me to go in there with you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm fine, Dad. I'll be fine." I said it twice, once for him, the other for me.

"Okay then. Take care of yourself, Bells, okay?" he repeated my mother's parting words and kissed me on the forehead.

"Will do, Dad," I replied as I swung my backpack over my shoulders and hopped out of the car. With slow, but sure steps, I made my way to the main office building and pushed the door open.

The interior wasn't what I expected. Instead of phones ringing off the hook, papers stacked neatly in little trays, and people walking in and out and around with little mugs of coffee, the phones barely rang, papers covered almost every flat surface, and people were sitting down in their desks, hardly paying any notice to me.

"Um, hello?" I asked tentatively. "I'm new, I just enrolled."

A large, brunette lady with a pink t-shirt looked up from her desk. "Oh, hello sweetie," she said as she made her way to the long counter I was standing in front of. She pulled out a pad of slips and began writing on it. "What's your name?"

"Isabella Swan," I replied nervously.

She nodded and pulled several sheets of paper out of the stack of paper at the end of the counter. "We've been expecting you," she said as she handed me the papers. "That's your schedule and a map of the school. This place is pretty small and the students are helpful enough, so you probably won't need that, but just in case."

I read through my classes, feeling a piercing stab of excitement and fear. After she was finished writing on the slip, she ripped it off the pad and handed it to me. "Have your teachers fill it out and bring it back at the end of the day, okay?"

I nodded and she smiled at me. "I hope you have a good day."

The moment I stepped out of the office, the bell rang, and I felt my heart jump. I had never heard a school bell ring before, so the sudden, rapid movement startled me. Quickly glancing down at my schedule and my map, I ran off to building three for English class.

The moment I walked into the building, I felt all eyes in the room immediately flash in my direction. My too pale cheeks flushed dark scarlet as I handed my slip to the teacher for him to sign. "Hi," I murmured softly. "I'm new here."

The teacher, Mr. Mason nodded, signed my slip, and handed it back to me. "Welcome to Forks High School, Ms. Swan. Would you be willing to introduce yourself?"

I stepped in front of the room nervously and greeted my fellow students. "Um, hi. My name is Bella Swan and I'm new here. I didn't move or anything," I added, seeing the looks of curiosity. Some of the kids I had met before or seen around town whenever my mother took me grocery shopping with her. "I've just been home-schooled all my life."

"Home-schooled?" one of the girls in the front asked incredulously. "As in, you got taught at home? By your mother?"

I nodded uncomfortably. With nothing else to say, I took my seat at the back of the classroom and quietly observed.

The rest of my classes kind of went the same way. None of my teachers asked me to introduce myself again (mainly because the school was so small and pretty much every student in my grade met me during first period), but in every class, my fellow students watched me with fascinated interest.

The period before lunch, a friendly boy with pale blond hair neatly gelled into spikes approached me. "Hi, I'm Mike Newton."

I smiled at him, glad to make my first acquaintance. "I'm Bella Swan."

"I know. You're in my English class." I nodded, unsure of what to say. So he continued. "I was just wondering…since you're new and all, would you like to sit with my friends at lunch?"

I nodded, feeling extremely relieved. "Yes, that would be great, thanks." It saved me the awkwardness of trying to find a table to sit at. I had never actually experienced it or anything, but I had seen it in all the movies, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

"Great!" he exclaimed as he gestured for me to follow him to the cafeteria.

I followed Mike through the lunch line as he picked out what he wanted. I didn't buy anything because my mother said she didn't trust the school lunches and had, instead, packed my lunch. He asked me questions the entire time and I answered them happily, glad to make a new friend.

"You know, I think I've seen you around before," he said as he handed the lunch lady his money and walked off to his table with his tray. "Like at the grocery store or something."

"Yeah," I replied. "Like I said before, I've been home-schooled all my life. I wasn't a really strong child and I was always getting sick, so my mom decided to teach me at home. I never really left the house, except for when she took shopping and stuff." I took one glance at his bewildered face and laughed. "I'm really sheltered."

"Wow," he said. "Well, for a home-schooled girl, you're really pretty."

I blushed a little. The only people who had ever called me pretty were all close family relatives, and none of them were male. I didn't even know that very many boys who _could_ call me pretty. The only boy I ever really knew was Jacob Black, the son of my dad's best friend, which made him my brother by default. "Thanks," I muttered at the unexpected compliment.

He beamed. "No problem." When we reached the table, he introduced me to everyone and I promptly forgot all their names. The only ones that really stuck with me were Jessica and Lauren (who were glaring at me for some reason) and Angela, who smiled shyly at me when we were introduced. I sat next to her, and Mike sat on my other side.

Lunch was a pleasant affair. Everyone was generally nice, (with the exception of Jessica who refused to talk to me, and Lauren who seemed to hate me on principal) as everyone who sat at the table told me what to expect from different teachers.

"And Mr. Compher has really bad breath, so try and stay away from him if you can," a boy (who's name might have been Tyler) warned me. "He teaches Geography, and he likes to get up in people's faces, so it's hard not to notice what he's had for lunch."

"Oh, and don't fall asleep in Spanish," Mike added. "Señora Rodriguez docks major points. I fell asleep one time in her class because I stayed up late the night before on my research paper and I got a seventy for participation."

Right in the middle of lunch, I looked up and spotted a table of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my life.

"Who are they?" I asked in awe. "I've never seen them before."

Everyone glanced in the direction I was staring, and Jessica and Lauren smirked. "Those are the Cullens and Hales," Angela replied quietly. "They're new here too. Transferred here a couple of weeks ago."

"They moved from Alaska, I think," Tyler added.

"They're so beautiful…" I murmured aloud.

Suddenly, a pair of coal black eyes met mine and I couldn't look away. The eyes seemed to have me in their grip, asking me silent questions that I knew I couldn't, shouldn't answer. I finally broke our gaze by turning to Angela.

"Who's that one with the reddish hair?" I asked her.

She giggled while Jessica and Lauren rolled their eyes. "That's Edward Cullen," the three of them replied, and Jessica continued with, "Forget it, Bella. He doesn't date."

I heard her, but I didn't acknowledge her. The same coal black eyes came back to stare into mine, but this time reflecting a frustration and confusion that seemed to be plaguing him. A crease edged its way between his ginger brows, and I had some strange urge to soothe it away.

The bell rang, interrupting our silent exchange. I reluctantly tore my eyes away from his dark gaze and followed Mike to Biology.

"You'll like this class," he told me as we walked to the building. "It's a lot of fun and Mr. Banner's a really cool teacher."

I nodded, trying to pay attention to him. Edward Cullen's midnight black gaze was forever imprinted in my mind, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake it away.

When we walked into the building, I introduced myself to Mr. Banner. He nodded, signed the slip, and handed me a book. After our short, straightforward conversation, I looked around the classroom for a seat. Everyone was seated at black-topped tables meant for two students. The only available seat was the one right in middle…next to Edward Cullen.

The moment I sat down, my lab partner's posture stiffened. It made me feel a little nervous and I tentatively chanced a glance at him. What I saw in his eyes sent a shiver of fear down my spine.

He was glaring at me, the dark pits of his eyes flashing with the utmost hate, the utmost loathing. His face, paler even than mine, seemed almost translucent, allowing me to see the taut muscles straining in his jaws. His fists were closed tightly and the cords running down his wrists almost protruded from his skin with the effort it took for him to keep them clenched.

He hated me. And I had the distinct impression that he wanted to kill me.

A flush spread across my cheeks, immediately giving away my embarrassment. I watched from the corner of my eye as he scooted his chair at the farthest possible angle from me, as he continued to watch me in complete revulsion. I flipped my hair on the side of my face and made a curtain of it to separate the two of us. I didn't know why he wanted to get away from me so badly, especially since I didn't do anything to him, but I would try to make it easier for him.

The hour was a long one. After a while, I noticed that his chest stop expanding and wondered if he was even breathing. It was painful for the both of us, sitting there; he, quite obviously, didn't want to be next to me and I didn't want to cause him more pain than he was already in. I wanted nothing more than to ask him what was wrong and hope that it wasn't my fault, but it seemed impossible. Some strange, irrational part of me wanted to touch his hand and soothe away the pain and anger in his shadowed eyes, but I knew better. Edward Cullen wanted nothing to do with me.

When the bell finally rang, he quickly stood and left the room before I could blink. I was left sitting there, slightly dazed and confused with my heart pounding ridiculously fast. I knew at that point that I probably should have been concerned, especially in my condition, but I knew that my rapidly beating heart was not a symptom of _that_ problem. It was because of Edward Cullen.

"Hey, Bella?" I looked up and found Mike Newton's concerned face hovering over mine. "Are you okay? You look a little pale."

I nodded. "I'm fine." I stood up and followed him out of the building.

"Did you stab Cullen with a pencil or something?" he asked curiously. "I've never seen him act like that.

So his behavior in class today wasn't normal. My calming heart sank. "No," I said bemusedly. "I hadn't even talked to him."

"That was weird," he shrugged, but he thankfully let the subject drop. Instead, he asked, "What's your next class?"

I looked down at my schedule and frowned. "Physical education," I replied with a sigh.

The disappointed flash in his eyes did not go unnoticed by me. "Oh. I have Trigonometry. I wish I was there with you," he said as he patted my shoulder gently. "I'll meet you outside the gym when it's over." And with that, he spun on his heel and walked off in an opposite direction.

Technically, I wasn't even supposed to be in P.E. The doctor specifically said to stay away from all strenuous, physical activity, and P.E. definitely counted as strenuous, physical activity. It was in the name.

Therefore, I felt it perfectly reasonable to skip it. I strayed from the worn path to the gym and made my way to a nearby forest, just on the edge of the school grounds. My parents would understand, even if the teachers didn't. They wouldn't get upset. They didn't get upset with me much these days.

I sighed as I thought of my helplessness. My mother had taken to watching me whenever she didn't think I noticed her, which was pretty stupid because I always noticed. My father tried not to let it affect him, which helped my mother deal with it, but I saw the sadness penetrate his eyes every now and then. It broke my heart to see the both of them so devastated, so hopeless for my sake.

Strangely enough, I had accepted my grim fate. I didn't feel cold, disappointed, upset or angry, as they all expected me to. I felt vaguely calm about the whole ordeal. Maybe with my impending death, I would finally reach the peace I had been looking for all my life. Because in the end, all I really wanted was peace.

**A/N - Just to give you guys a heads up, the next chapter will be in Edward's point of view. After that, the points of view will alternate within the chapter...just because I wanted to.**

**Please review; if you don't, I'll only assume you guys don't like it, and if you guys don't like it, then I really see no point in continuing this crazy endeavor.**


	2. Edward: First Breath

**A/N - Thanks for all the constructive criticism! I know that the events are really close to the book, but I kind of needed it because I didn't want to stray too far away and end up making the characters completely ooc.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Edward: First Breath**

Isabella Swan.

The name rang in everyone's mind, and eventually my own. It was as if her name was some sort of disease, a contagious bacteria; her face infected the minds of everyone in the school, and had now been passed on to me.

I rested my cold head against the steering wheel of my car, hoping to soothe the raging monster inside of me.

The last hour had been the single most torturous hour of my life.

Isabella Swan…the scent of her blood still lingered in my memory, pulling at me to find her and kill her. I could almost feel it, taste it as the luscious, warm liquid filled my mouth, sweeping over my dry tongue…

I took a deep, shuddering breath. I couldn't let these thoughts take me over, otherwise I would be sorely tempted to actually seek her out and kill her.

The only thing that kept me from killing her the moment I saw her was the look in her eyes; her wide, deep brown eyes showed not only the predictable emotions of fear and uncertainty, but pity as well. It shocked me. Why would this girl, this strange, home-schooled, shy, quiet girl pity me? I felt almost enraged at the thought. She had no right to feel sorry for me…she knew nothing about me.

I let the lilting tune of Clair de Lune wash over me, but it didn't help. The inhuman instinct to drain her dry of every drop of blood in her body consumed me in an unforgiving hellfire, refusing to release me from its vengeful grip.

I let out a low roar; too low for any human to hear, but loud and powerful enough for a vampire to hear a mile away. I knew immediately that my siblings had heard and were appropriately concerned.

_Edward,_ Alice called. _What's wrong?_

The others asked the same thing and I just shook my head against my steering wheel. I waited, I begged for them to finish quickly so we could leave. I needed to get out of there. I needed so badly to leave before I did something incredibly stupid.

The moment the bell rang, the others were standing outside the car. "What happened?" Alice demanded.

"As if you don't already know," I growled. I could almost see the others glancing at each other in confusion. The moment they were in the car, I pulled out of the parking space and ripped out of the parking lot as quickly as I could. The sooner I was out of the school, the better.

Alice watched me for a very long time. I watched with her as image after image of Bella Swan lying dead flashed before her mind's eye. "Oh," Alice whispered softly.

The images continued until I could no longer handle it. "Alice, please!" I begged with a shudder. Just _seeing_ her blood and remembering the scent was enough to drive me insane.

"Sorry," she amended quickly and the images stopped.

The others didn't bother asking. They knew neither of us would answer until I was ready to tell them, and I was nowhere near that point. Jasper understood that.

The moment we got home, I ran up the stairs to my room and shut myself up as I paced on the plush gold carpet. Nothing could help. I had already smelled her, registered the scent of her blood as the most tantalizing, most viciously, mouthwatering perfume ever. I wanted to taste her so badly, and I would if I stayed another moment here.

As soon as I decided that I had to leave, Alice burst into my room. "Do you need help?" she asked.

I nodded. "Tell the others where I've gone. I'm going to the hospital to tell Carlisle."

She smiled sadly. "You won't stay there for very long, you know."

A wave of fear swept over me. "Will I…?" I trailed off, unable to finish the question.

She shook her head. _No,_ she thought. _You're stronger than you think you are._

I rested my hand on her shoulder in gratitude. "Thank you," I told her.

Without another word, she crossed the floor of my large room and drew me into what would have been a bone crushing hug had it been administered on anyone else. "I'll miss you. We all will." She pulled away and held my face framed in her slender hands. "Take care of yourself." Then she floated out my door and went to go tell the others.

Soon after, I followed her out of my room and hopped into my Volvo. I knew Carlisle would understand, though he'd be sad. The rest would miss me, Esme especially, but I couldn't risk this. I wasn't strong enough to face the temptation that was Bella Swan's blood, no matter what Alice thought.

When I reached the hospital, I ran to the nurse's station. "Where is my father?" I asked hurriedly. The nurse was too dazzled to give a coherent answer; I could hear her mind and it went completely blank. She pointed in a general direction, and after giving her a hasty thanks, I ran down the hall, searching for the tenor of Carlisle's thoughts.

_Oh dear,_ I heard him think. _She's not going to make it…her poor parents. I don't think they'll be able to take it_.

"Carlisle?" I called.

He stuck his head out of a room nearby. "Edward?" He took one look at the troubled look on my face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm leaving," I told him hurriedly. "I can't stay here anymore, there's this girl, and she's—I can't help myself, she's…she's dangerous."

He immediately understood. _What will you do?_ he asked.

"I thought I might go to Alaska," I told him. "Lay low until I can clear my head. I'm not sure how long I'll stay…I just know I have to leave."

Carlisle nodded and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. "Here, take my car. It's got a full tank of gas."

"Thank you," I replied in relief. I knew he was sad to see me leave, but he knew it was necessary. We exchanged keys and I gave him a quick hug.

_Be safe,_ he told me. I nodded.

The moment I stepped out of the hospital, I ran to his car and slid in. It was in that moment that I absolutely hated Bella Swan. She tempted me with her delicious blood, she tortured me with her silent thoughts and the pity in her eyes. Now she was forcing me to run from my family, from the only people I loved and had left in this world.

I hated her.

But now was not the time to dwell on that hate. I needed to clear my head, and the best way to do that was to get out of here. To get out of the town where all thoughts revolved around Bella Swan.

The next few days, I spent time with old friends in Alaska, hunting and isolating myself from human contact. Every human face I saw reminded me of the one girl that drove me away from home. It reminded me of what I had left behind, what I had fled. The memory of her scent, the perfume wafting from her skin as she sat unknowingly next to a monster that wanted to kill her still gave birth to the demon within. I spent days hiding in forests, killing and draining every animal that happened by, hoping in vain to quench the raging thirst.

After a few days, the memory was no longer as potent, and after a few weeks, the memory faded away almost completely. I couldn't believe that such an insignificant little human could have driven me away like that. In those few weeks, I found the strength and control to go back home. Carmen and her family hugged me warmly before I left, and I gave them my reassurances that I would give my family their well wishes.

My welcome back home was as warm as to be expected. Rosalie nodded her acknowledgement of me and Esme hugged me so hard that I could barely breathe. Alice was almost as enthusiastic, while Carlisle, Emmet, and Jasper resolved to less eager means of showing their appreciation of my return.

"She's still there, you know," Alice told me as everyone else gave me room to breathe after coming home.

I nodded. I hadn't expected her to leave; that was irrational. But I felt strong enough to face her now, to resist the temptation she presented.

The next day at lunch, I watched her carefully. I know she saw me because she glanced my way, blushed, and determinedly looked away for the rest of my lunch. I examined with fascination and frustration as I tried to hear her thoughts; her expressions changed as she laughed with Tyler, smiled with Angela, and glared at Mike Newton. Her thoughts _had_ to be flowing if her moods kept changing as well. Why couldn't I hear them?

Lunch ended and I reluctantly made my way to the biology building. _I can do this,_ I thought positively to myself. Rarely did I ever resort to trite little phrases like that, but at this point, I was willing to give it a try.

Being much more well-fed than I had been the first time I met her, I watched as she sat down carefully. Mike Newton glared at me angrily. _Stupid prick…he comes back after a week and thinks that…whatever. Bella isn't even paying attention to him_.

I chuckled. If Mike had been able to read body language better than that, he would have realized that all of Bella's attention was focused on me. Her posture was rigid and uncomfortable; she was deliberately averting her gaze from me, keeping her back to me at all times. She was hyper aware of my presence, and it showed in every bone of her body.

Mike sat on the edge of her side of the desk and continued his conversation with her. "So it's supposed to clear up this weekend," he said. "I was planning a trip down to the beach at La Push. Do you wanna come too?"

I listened carefully for her answer, trying for the millionth time to hear her thoughts. For some strange reason, I wanted her to say no.

"Sure," she said with false cheer. "That sounds like a lot of fun."

Mr. Banner walked into the building at that moment and Mike shot her a wistful look. I rolled my eyes and watched as he walked back to his seat.

"Alright class, today is a lab day," Mr. Banner announced to the groans of the rest of my classmates. "For the past several weeks we have been studying the cell. Today, I'm going to give you a microscope and some slides showing the various stages of mitosis. They're out of order and you have to figure out which slide depicts which stage. You are not allowed to use your books." More groans.

I glanced at my lab partner, who had her eyes determinedly focused on the desk. "Hello," I said as warmly as I could. She reluctantly brought her eyes up to meet mine, incredulity and caution written all over her face.

I chuckled. No one could blame her for acting so carefully; not only was it wise for her to do so, I imagine I left quite an impression last Monday. "My name is Edward Cullen," I told her. "I never got the chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

She blushed and it took all my self-control to resist the temptation of her blood. I reminded myself that this girl was innocent; she had her life ahead of her. I couldn't take that from her. She nodded in response to my question.

At that moment, Mr. Banner placed a box of slides and a microscope on our table. I grinned at her and gestured to the microscope. "Ladies first."

She hesitated for the briefest moment, then brought her eye to the microscope and peered through the lens. "Prophase," she declared, then pushed it towards me.

I looked through the microscope, nodded, and wrote it down on our sheet.

Between the two of us, the lab was completed in half the time it took for everyone else. When we were finished, she pulled out a pen and started doodling on the corner of her notebook. I watched her for a little while then asked, "So you were home-schooled?"

She nodded.

"Why did you decide to start public school so late?" I asked. Honestly, I didn't know why anyone would inflict the pain of public education on themselves deliberately.

She sighed. "I wanted to go," she said very quietly. "My mom home-schooled me because I was always sick and she was afraid that I might get seriously ill. Well, now that I'm older I want to know what it's like to go to a public school. I mean, I've only read about it and seen it in movies and stuff…I just wanted to experience it before…" she trailed off, as if she were afraid to finish.

"Before what?" I prompted.

"Before I go to college," she finished. "I kept telling her that I wasn't socialized properly, and in order for me to succeed, I needed to meet other kids my age."

I laughed humorlessly. "Well high school isn't very special. In fact, I would have continued my home-schooling if I were you."

She smiled very faintly and continued doodling.

The vent started blowing the air from her direction and her scent hit me like a brick wall, just like the first day I saw her. I wrapped my fingers around the edge of the table and held on, using it as anchor to my sanity.

She noticed my hand in alarm. "Are you alright?" she asked as she mistakenly laid her hand gently across my knuckles. I started at the warmth in not only her touch, but in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and let my grip loosen as I gently pulled my hand away. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

At that moment, Mr. Banner walked to the front of the class and turned on the overhead projector, showing on the transparencies what Bella and I had managed to see through the microscope quite easily. Predictably, though, my attention wasn't on the lesson; it was on the enigmatic girl sitting next to me. Why was she so worried about me? She had no need to worry about _me_; if anything, she should be worrying about herself.

The moment the bell rang, I swiftly stood from my seat and strode away. Bella Swan was getting to me in more ways than one.

I was making my way to my government class, when I caught a swiftly moving figure from the corner of my eye. I turned my head and saw Bella trailing off the path to Gym. Curiosity took my over, and I followed her silently.

I followed her into the middle of a clearing in the forest. With her back still to me, she dropped her backpack on the grass and said out loud, "Hi, Edward."

I was shocked speechless. When I didn't respond, she turned around with her head tilted to the side, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "So, why did you follow me?"

The wind blew softly through her hair and wafted her scent my way. It would be so easy, right here, right now. She was all alone…there were no witnesses…

But those eyes….the sweet innocence portrayed in their depths…I couldn't.

"Why aren't you in class?" I asked her.

She chuckled. "I could ask you the same thing."

I walked carefully closer. "I was following you. I wanted to make sure you weren't lost."

Bella grinned and collapsed into the grass. "I'm not lost. I skip P.E. everyday."

I smiled back at her. "Well then, allow me to accompany you."

**A/N - Please review!**


	3. Bella: Second Impressions

**Bella: Second Impressions**

I watched the perfect creature lying in the grass next to me. It seemed hardly possible that someone as beautiful as Edward Cullen would be skipping class with me in a small clearing, just staring up at the cloudy sky. But it was happening.

"How did you know I was following you?" he asked.

I blushed. "I could smell you," I admitted. "You have a very nice scent."

We stared at each other a little while longer and my heart began pounding so fast, I was sure he heard it.

"Did you get contacts?" I asked suddenly. For some strange reason, I distinctly remember his pitch black irises the last time I stared in their fathomless depths.

His newly colored eyes reflected the puzzlement I felt. "No." But he looked away so I couldn't look into his beautiful eyes.

"Oh."

A silence descended upon us as we gazed the clouds.

I watched the huge grey puffs of smoke float across the sky. Ever since I was diagnosed, I started watching the sky a lot more, as if it had all the answers I was looking for. Where did people go after this life? Neither of my parents had been particularly religious, so I grew up pretty oblivious to the faith of others. When I died, would I be in the clouds? Would I still be able to watch my mother and father, wherever I went? Would I still be able to watch my newfound friends? Would I truly be at peace, like everyone said?

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked. He must have noticed my pensive expression because he was frowning with that same furrow creasing his alabaster brow. I resisted the urge to reach over and smooth it away.

I chose my words carefully, so as not to draw further, unwanted suspicion. "I was wondering where we go when we die. Do we go in the clouds? And can we watch our loved ones from wherever we go?"

He paused before he replied. "My father is spiritual," he began. "And he says that there's a beginning and an end for everything and everyone."

"But where is that end?" I asked, not really directing the question at anyone in particular.

I saw him shrug his broad shoulders. "I don't know," he replied simply.

We lay there in an unbroken silence, contemplating the question that plagued me day and night.

* * *

"_Bella," Edward whispered in my ear. I shivered._

"_Yes, Edward?" I asked. His golden eyes glowing with desire, bore into mine, seeming to seek out the answers to my soul._

"_Follow me," he said excitedly. I slipped my hand in his cold, smooth marble one and all of a sudden the ground left from underneath my feet._

_I was flying._

"_Edward!" I gasped in surprise. He was smiling the sweetest smile in the world as he wrapped his arm around my waist. We continued to fly over the world, higher and higher into the clouds. I was surrounded in the thick, misty white. I couldn't see him, but I felt his cold arm surrounding me, protecting me. I felt safe._

_Then, he disappeared, but I remained in the clouds, weightless and bright. Though Edward was no longer with me, I felt at peace. My heart no longer pounded, my head no longer ached. I didn't have to squint to see; in fact, I didn't need to see anything at all. A pure, bright light shone overhead, calling me to it. I lifted my head, willing myself towards it, but something tugged at my heart._

"_Bella?" I heard my mother sob._

"_Bella?" my father called in anxiety. "Bella, where are you?"_

"_Bella…" I heard a soft angel's voice whisper. It was Edward's. My heart broke in two as I heard the helplessness in his tone. "Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me all alone…"_

_The voices spun around my head, begging and pleading as I drifted closer and closer into the light. I was torn between the peace I had been seeking all my life and the love I would leave behind._

_I had to choose._

I abruptly woke up in the middle of the night, clutching my sheets to my chest, listening to my harsh breaths rip themselves from my lungs. The same nightmare had been plaguing me for several months now, but never before had they featured Edward.

As the memories of the dream faded away, I let out a loud grown and buried my face in my pillow. I didn't know why I was having such pointless dreams; I was going to die anyway. Nothing I could do could change that. Never, in real life would I ever be presented with the chance to choose between my life on earth and the ethereal harmony I was looking forward to. But I suppose that was what my psyche was trying to tell me; even though I was moving on to a better place, those I left behind would be devastated.

I went into biology the next day with dark circles under my eyes and my heart beating painfully fast. I hadn't been able to sleep a wink after waking up from my troubling dream the night before, all because of my mysteriously beautiful lab partner.

"Hello," he said very pleasantly as I sat down. I smiled back at him, unable to keep the redness from spreading through my cheeks. Never before had I been addressed by someone as godlike as he, and I doubt I ever would get used to the sensation.

"How are you?" I asked politely.

"I am well," he replied. I loved listening to Edward talk; he had a wonderfully smooth, silky voice and he actually used proper grammar, something I noticed, that was sorely lacking in most teenage habits as of late. "How are you?"

Standard response for this question is fine, but I wanted to say more than one word to him. Plus, I don't lying. "I'm a little tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

His ginger eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Oh? Why is that?"

I shrugged. "I couldn't fall asleep."

Suddenly, Edward's ocher eyes gleamed as he smiled. "Do you plan on making up for that in P.E.?"

I blushed and smiled. "You know what? I think I will."

At that point, Mr. Banner rolled the overhead projector to the front of the classroom and began the lesson. I tried my hardest to focus, but I couldn't; every so often, my eyes would flicker to Edward sitting next to me, only to see he was glancing at me too. Every time it happened, he chuckled and I flashed him an embarrassed smile as I tried to give my attention to the lesson.

When the bell finally rang, I stood up and walked out of the classroom, looking forward to a nap in the clearing. I leisurely strolled through the forest, hoping that Edward was following me. I smiled at the memory of his beautiful scent…it was a mixture of all the most wonderful fragrances of the world: cinnamon, lemons, roses, apple cider, lilies, fresh brewed coffee, caramel, soap, clean sheets straight from the dryer line, and pure masculinity. I loved being around him, just to be enveloped by the scent.

It was beautiful…just like he was.

I reached the clearing and stared up at the customary gray sky. Pulling out the blanket my mother forced me to bring with me in case I ever got cold, I spread it over the grass and lay atop it, soaking up my surroundings. I loved being surrounded by nature; feeling the wind blow gently through my hair, feeling the solid ground beneath my feet, listening to the birds chirp and the leaves rustle…it was so peaceful.

I closed my eyes against the gray sky, letting nature's lullaby sing me to sleep.

* * *

"Bella?" a gentle voice called to me. "Bella?"

My eyes fluttered open and I saw Edward Cullen standing over me with his head tilted to side. "School ended a half hour ago."

I sat up slowly, my eyes adjusting to the light. "Oh man," I mumbled. "Dad must be freaking out."

"Oh, don't worry. When he came to pick you up, I told him that you had to stay over to finish a biology lab and I would take you home afterwards."

I stood up, completely shocked. "You lied to my Dad?"

A puzzled frown pulled down on the corners of his lips. "You wanted him to know that you were skipping P.E.?"

"I wanted him to know the _truth_," I told him, absolutely horrified that this beautiful stranger lied to my father.

"Bella, I think he would have rather wanted to hear the lie than have known the truth."

I shook my head emphatically as I jumped up and began to roll the blanket up. "No. He wouldn't have cared if I told him that I was skipping P.E. I've never lied to them once, and I can't start now."

"Why?" Edward asked, obviously confused that I cared so much about lying to my father.

"Did you really mean that part about giving me a ride home?" I asked him, avoiding the question on purpose. "Because I need one."

One corner of his lip lifted upward, giving me that crooked smile that I loved so much. "I was planning on it."

"Thank you."

As we made our way out of the clearing and through the forest, Edward shot me that puzzled look he had worn earlier. "So, why were you so concerned when I lied to your father? I thought that's what you would have wanted."

I shook my head. "I don't like lying, Edward," I began. "I especially don't like lying to my parents. It just means I have to keep up with an alternate story and I always have to think on my feet. And in the end, someone always finds out the truth and it turns into this huge mess afterwards."

"What if you were lying to protect someone?" he asked.

"It really depends on the situation," I told him. "I've never had to do that, so I wouldn't know what it's like. And besides," I added as I turned to face him, "Life's too short to lie."

There was something close to wonder shining in his eyes and I blushed a little. "You know," he began, "I've never met someone who thought like that."

It was my turn to be puzzled. "What do you mean by that?"

"It's always been my experience that people don't generally say what they think. They always censor or alter what they say altogether. And I have never met a human that was truthful."

"Wow," I said with a tiny laugh. "You're a little cynical."

His smile was wry. "You could say that."

"Why is that?"

He shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it.

We made it to the school parking lot in silence. He opened the door for me, but I stopped. "Where's your family?" I asked.

"I already drove them home," he told me, gesturing for me to get in.

"But it's only half an hour after school ended, like you said."

"So?"

I gave him a weird look. "Okay, either you're lying or you drive way too fast."

He shot me a devilish grin and I suddenly knew which one was true. "Oh my gosh…" I muttered as I got into the car. "I'm going to die."

"You're not going to die," he scoffed before he closed the door after I got in. "I drive fast, I don't drive recklessly. There's a difference."

"My father is a police chief," I muttered as he walked around the car and got in. "My father is a police chief and I'm getting into a car with a speeding maniac."

"How do you know?" he asked as he turned the ignition and put the car into reverse. "This is the first time you've ever seen me drive. I never would have thought you were so prejudiced."

"You're backing out of the parking lot and you're not even looking!" I shouted.

He rolled his eyes and turned his head to look over his left shoulder, then his right, clearly not seeing anything. "Is that better?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "No, but you're not going to look again anyways, so it doesn't matter."

He chuckled again.

I had to admit, he drove very smoothly, but when we got onto the highway I had to close my eyes to focus on what he said instead of the trees zooming past us at an alarming rate.

"So, what are you going to tell your parents?" he asked.

"I'm going to tell them the truth," I replied simply. "That I skipped P.E., went into the forest and took a nap and that you found me and gave me a ride home."

"And they won't get upset with you?" he asked in obvious surprise. I suppose he was used to teenagers getting in trouble with their parents and lying to get their way out of it. Lying was second nature to so many people.

"No. And they probably won't get upset at the fact that you lied either, but I want them to know the truth."

"Because you don't lie," he said very slowly, as if he were trying to verify something he didn't quite understand.

"Yeah," I said, opening my eyes for the briefest moment, then closing them again.

I heard the amazement in his voice and could practically feel him shaking his head at me in disbelief. "You're incredible."

The next moment, Edward gently nudged my shoulder. "Bella?" he whispered. "We're here."

My eyes flew open in surprise. "Already? But I didn't tell you where I live."

He chuckled. "This is Forks, remember? Everyone knows where everybody else lives. Not to mention, you're the police chief's daughter."

He helped me out of the car and walked me to the front door. I turned to him with a small, nervous smile on my face. No matter how many times I encountered him, I didn't think I'd ever quite get used to his beauty, or get over the nervous jitters I felt in my stomach every time he looked at me. After a brief goodbye, I unlocked the front door, let myself in and raced to the window to peer into the driveway. He was already gone.


	4. Edward: Overwhelming Curiosity

**Edward: Overwhelming Curiosity**

I watched her sitting at the kitchen table with her family, laughing at something her father said. In hindsight, I suppose the picture of me sitting in the branches of a tree outside her house, peering inside on the intimacy of a small family setting was somewhat comical, especially since I hated her just a few days before. But there was something about this slight, pale girl with those expressive brown eyes and deep questions. I wanted to learn so much more about her; I wanted to know what she was thinking, what she felt, what she read, what her favorite colors were, what she always wanted to do…I wanted to learn everything.

After dinner, she walked up the stairs to her room and sat there at her desk, studiously completing her homework, occasionally laughing to herself every now and then. She startled me when she first did it; I remembered how she had smelled me in the meadow and immediately knew it was me. But she just turned back to her homework, chuckling at the joke running through her mind.

Oh, how I wanted to know what she was thinking. It was ironic, really…the one human creature's thoughts I had a desire to hear were completely silent to me.

At a quarter before ten, she started to get ready for bed. After finishing all the required human tasks, she climbed into her bed, pulled a piece of paper out from under her bed and wrote something down. Then she put away the pen and paper and pulled out a book. She read for a half hour before turning off her lamp, rolling over, and falling asleep.

Making sure that she was completely asleep, I carefully climbed through her window. When I was in, I studied her surroundings. The first thing that caught my eye was the gigantic bookshelf pushed against the wall on the side farthest from the window. I took a quick glance at the titles; most of the classics were there, along with many contemporary works.

Next to the door to her closet sat a small stereo flanked by four large CD towers, housing about fifty CDs each. I studied the collection and was pleasantly surprised to find that our tastes in music were incredibly similar. Including several contemporary rock bands, she had classical music and big band swing.

On her desk lay the piece of paper she was writing on earlier, carefully folded up into eighths. The very small voice of my conscience screamed at me not to, but it was already too late. I was reaching out for the paper.

Scrawled very neatly across the top of the paper read, "My To-Do List" with numerous decorative touches and curlicues added as embellishments. The list included watching every single Audrey Hepburn movie made, visiting places outside of Forks, flying, learning how to dance, going to at least one rock concert, eating three whole, extra large cheese pizzas in three hours, overcoming her stage fright and singing in a concert hall in front of loads of people. But the last one made my breath hitch: the number one thing she wanted to do was to fall in love.

What was it about this strange girl that made me look through her belongings? Was it because she could smell me so clearly? Was it because she didn't swoon at the sight of me? Was it because she insisted on the truth, no matter what? Isabella Swan was truly the most intriguing human being I had ever met. And that scared me.

The next day at school, I found myself eagerly wishing for Biology, and not for the…enlightening…nature of the class, but for a pair of warm brown eyes that made me feel things that I was not accustomed to feeling.

When I got to the Biology lab, however, her seat was empty. I couldn't help but feel more than a little disappointed at her absence, something that surprised me. It was frightening, how quickly I had grown attached to the human girl. On the outside, she seemed so insignificant, so ordinary, but on the inside…on the inside she seemed hardly human with her deep insights and her penchant for truth.

I started sifting through various minds of my peers, hoping that they would know where Bella was. Then I heard the insipid tenor of Mike Newton's mind from far away, talking her into cutting Biology. I felt anger boiling within me at the thought of her breaking the rules with anyone else. It pleased me, though, when she told him no as the familiar, tantalizing scent of her blood neared the building.

The door opened and Mr. Banner frowned at the two students walking into his class. "Ms. Swan, I know that you are new to this school, but I have strict rules about tardiness. This is your first infraction, so I'll let this go, but next time, don't expect me to be so forgiving. Mr. Newton, please go to the front office and retrieve a pass."

"Aw c'mon, Mr. Banner! I was only late by two minutes!"

"No excuses. Go."

Mike shot me a look full of contempt, as if the whole ordeal was my fault. _What a jackass,_ I heard him think. _Smirking at me, getting to sit next to Bella…God, what do girls see in him anyway?_ His murderous train of thought continued on his way out of the building.

When Bella sat down, I turned to her and grinned. "So, why were you late?"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, and I feared that she didn't want to answer my question. A wave of relief washed over me, though, when she opened her mouth and groaned, "Mike wants me to go to La Push with all his friends, but I told him I didn't want to. It's not like I haven't been there a million times before anyways."

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought you said you were pretty sheltered."

She turned to look at me in surprise and confusion. "When did I ever say that to you?"

I could have slapped myself. I had actually heard her saying that to Mike Newton and her friends at lunch when she sat with them on the first day of school, but I couldn't tell her that. One, it would admit that I had been listening in on their conversation, indirectly showing that I paid more attention to her than I really should. Two, it would also raise suspicions as to how I could hear her from the other side of the cafeteria. "You didn't. I just assumed, since you were home schooled and all."

She nodded and rested her chin on her forearms. "My dad's best friend is a Quileute elder. His son is my best friend and practically a brother. I used to watch him and his friends cliff dive all the time and we used to have campfires and picnics on the beach."

A pit grew deep in my stomach. She was friends with the Quileutes.

"So Mike won't leave you alone about La Push?" I asked, steering away from that particularly nasty train of thought.

"Yeah," she moped. "And Dad thinks it's a good idea. But the truth is, I don't want to go with him because Mike's a little too pushy. I mean, he's a nice guy and all, but he's really clingy and just…just annoying sometimes."

I found myself smiling a ridiculously large smile at her words. It shouldn't please me that she disliked Mike so much, but it did.

"Why don't you and I go somewhere?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I mentally slapped myself the moment the words came out.

She looked up in surprise. "Really?"

No getting out of it now. "Yeah, sure. We'll go into the city or something. Would you like to?"

The smile she flashed me was completely worth it. "Sure. I'd love to."

"Okay, great. I'll pick you up at eleven this Saturday. How does that sound?"

"That sounds great."

The rest of the class passed by startlingly fast. Before I knew it, the bell rang and I waved goodbye to Bella as she strolled off to the forest and at the last minute, I decided to follow her. She turned around in surprise when she realized that she wasn't alone.

"Are you sure you can skip class?" she asked suspiciously. "You were gone for a really long time a few weeks ago."

"Are you sure _you_ can skip class?" I teased lightly. "I'm pretty sure the gym teacher's noticed that you don't ever show up."

She stuck her tongue out at me and didn't protest my presence any further.

The wind blew her hair in my direction and I struggled to keep the monster within me contained. I was suddenly glad that I had fed the night before, otherwise this would have been much more difficult than it already was.

"Are you okay?" she asked when she saw me.

"I'm fine," I said in a strained voice.

She frowned. "You know, I don't get you sometimes. One moment, you're being a friend to me and the next you're acting like I'm a contagious disease."

"Contagious disease?" I couldn't help but smile.

She made a face. "It was just an expression."

"It's nothing," I shrugged.

"But I still don't know what this makes us," she said.

I raised my eyebrows. "Do you usually decide to skip out on going to the beach with people you see on a daily basis and whose company you enjoy with someone who you think treats you like some sort of 'contagious disease'?"

She reluctantly smiled and it made me wish she'd smile more. "No."

"Then I suppose this makes us friends."

She giggled and skipped ahead on the path a little. "I suppose it does."

"Hey," I protested, "where do you think you're going?"

"Race you!" she shouted.

I found it a little ironic that she would choose to race me. But she didn't need to know all the gory, miniscule details. So I just let her win.

* * *

I should have known that Alice had seen it in the future, because the moment I got home, Rosalie cornered me. "Just what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"I'm not doing anything, Rose," I sidestepped the accusation lightly. "What makes you think I'm doing anything?"

"I'm not an idiot, Edward," she growled. "I see you watching that stupid human girl during lunch and Alice tells us that you're taking her to Port Angeles this weekend."

"So?"

"So?" she repeated incredulously. "Edward, she's a human! You're befriending a human!"

"Rosalie," I said with the patience and demeanor of a kind teacher explaining the fact that one plus one equals two to a petulant five-year-old, "I fail to see how that is so wrong. I also fail to see why this should concern you."

"This concerns all of us!" she screamed. "If you tell her, you're putting the whole family in danger!"

At that point, the rest of the family had all gathered in the living room.

"She's right, you know," Jasper said. "What if she exposes us? How can you trust her?"

The truth was, I really couldn't. She said she never lied, and when I asked her about lying to save someone's life, she never answered. But something within me told me that she wouldn't tell anyone. It wasn't within her to endanger anyone.

"She won't," I said with confidence. "I know she won't."

"Edward, what Rosalie is trying to say is that you don't know how she'll take the news," Esme explained gently. "Will she accept you as you are if you tell her? Will she see you as nothing more than a monster if you say anything?"

I couldn't answer her. From what I had seen and experienced of Bella, she wasn't the kind of girl to do that. But I could never be entirely sure. "I'm still taking her to Port Angeles."

"All we're asking is that you think carefully before entrusting our secrets to her, okay?" Carlisle said. "Find out as much as you can about her before you tell her or show her anything."

"You don't _know_ anything about her, Edward!" Rosalie shouted. "And what if you slip up? What if you end up attacking her? What if your self-control isn't as strong as you thought?"

My eyes darkened at the thought and I immediately bristled at Rosalie's lack of faith in my self-control. I turned to Alice. "Will I?"

She didn't say anything for a moment as her eyes glazed over. "No," she said confidently after a while. "You won't."

I smirked at Rose. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm a little thirsty. Does anyone want to come with me?"

"I do!" Emmet exclaimed. Rosalie simply rolled her eyes and stomped off, angry that she had lost the argument and perpetually annoyed that her husband was so obnoxious.

That night, I climbed up the tree to her window and peered through the lacy curtains. I watched as she tossed and turned in her sleep, a frown pulling down on the corners of her mouth. I tried once more in vain to break through that mental barrier that separated me from her mind, desperate to see what had her so agitated.

The tossing and turning suddenly turned anxious and intense. She began murmuring in her sleep; I couldn't understand what she was saying, or trying to say, but I did catch a few words here and there—words like "no", and "wait", and "not yet". Then several minutes later, she sat up abruptly in her bed, clutching the sheets to her chest, breathing heavily with her eyes wide open in horror, all the while screaming, "NO!"

Then I watched as tears welled up in her eyes and began pouring down her cheeks. Her entire body was racked with sobs as her chest struggled to expand and contract and her breaths came out in ragged, desperate gasps, as if she were trying to hold onto something that was slowly slipping away.

"Why?" I heard her whisper. "Why does it have to be now?"

It broke my stone cold heart to see her so desperate. She continued to cry for a half hour longer and after fifteen minutes more of tossing and turning, she finally fell back into an uneasy sleep.

When I was sure that she wouldn't be disturbed by my presence, I opened the window and climbed through. As gently as I could, I pulled out my handkerchief and wiped away the tears that were still on her face, humming the tune of "Clair de Lune" as softly as I could.

After a few moments, the crease of worry etched between her eyebrows smoothed out and the muscles in her taut face slowly relaxed in her slumber. I felt relieved, but my anxiety and curiosity outweighed my relief.

When she was sound asleep, I pulled away and the moment I did, she let out what I could only describe as a contented sigh. "Edward…" she murmured. I stopped dead in my tracks, thinking that she might have woken up. Then, without wasting another moment, I quickly crossed her room and climbed out back through her window, but left it open. She said my name again, once more, louder and clearer.

I knew in that moment that there was no way I could ever ignore her. This girl, with her wide-eyed innocence, naiveté and sweet, unparalleled beauty had me under some sort of spell, and I wasn't sure I was willing to break it.


	5. Bella: Confessions

**Bella: Confessions**

I was unnaturally happy when I walked into Biology the next day. The moment I walked in, Edward looked up at me and grinned that beautiful crooked smile that I was coming to love more and more with each passing moment we spent together.

"Well don't you look happy," he commented charmingly. "May I ask why?"

I giggled, which surprised me. I rarely ever giggled, but that was the only way I could possibly describe the sound that escaped my mouth. "I had a really good dream last night."

His ginger brows shot up higher on his alabaster forehead. "Oh? What happened in this dream?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to tell you."

Edward looked perplexed. "Why not?"

I smirked at him. "Because if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

He seemed to find this funny for some reason because his face relaxed into an incredulous, disbelieving smile as he placated me with a bland, "Okay. Sure."

Truth was, my dream actually involved Edward, and I couldn't tell him because I didn't want him to know. It was too embarrassing.

I tried my hardest to pay attention during class, but my thoughts kept reverting to my dream the night before, and not necessarily the tamest parts. They were usually the parts that featured Edward's beautiful, pale bare chest and me running my hands over them as we kissed passionately. And it really didn't help that the subject of my dreams himself was sitting right next to me, and glanced at me strangely every time I blushed at my less than lady-like thoughts. But honestly, can you really blame me? Any girl in my position would have done the exact same thing.

"You know, I really wish I knew what you were thinking," he said solemnly when the final bell rang. "You have the most interesting expressions at the most random times."

I blushed. "Well maybe if you're lucky, I'll tell you."

He grinned crookedly. That same grin that was in my dream. Oh, God. "Am I lucky?" he asked.

I was tempted to say yes, but I caught myself just in time. "No," I said breezily as I pranced down the dirt path into my forest. I meant for my exit to be careless and unconcerned, but my unfortunate, natural clumsiness got in my way. The toe of my sneaker caught on a rock embedded into the ground and I began a precarious fall that would have inevitably ended up with me face down in the dirt. Luckily though, Edward was there to catch me before I fell.

I looked up at him and blushed. "Thank you," I said embarrassedly. "I meant for that to be a little more graceful."

"Lucky that I caught you then, huh?"

I smiled sweetly at him. "I'm still not telling you."

When I was set straight on my feet he pulled his lower lip forward in a ridiculously cute pout. "Why not?" he whined.

I smirked. "My thoughts are not for the ears of little boys."

He snorted. "I'm probably older than you."

I shrugged. "Probably. But that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you."

The warning bell rang and Edward scowled. "You better run along," I told him smugly. "You'll be late to class."

He sighed a long, suffering sound and turned on his heel in the direction of the Government building. "You'll tell me eventually, you know," he called to me behind his back.

"I doubt it," I returned.

And with those parting words, I went into my forest to take a nap and hopefully, repeat the wonderful dream from the night before that had me in such a good mood.

* * *

"Bella," a musical voice said, pulling me from the deep recesses of the fantasy land that my sleeping mind dreamt up. I followed the echoes of the voice, finally breaking through the surface of the waters of sleep. As my eyelids fluttered open, I saw Edward standing over me, offering me his hand. "Would you like a ride home?"

I nodded as I took his hand and let him lift me up. After quickly packing away my blanket, I followed him out of the forest. We made the journey in a surprisingly comfortable silence, simply enjoying the beauty of the nature surrounding us and reveling in each other's presence.

As we crossed the parking lot, Edward turned to me. "Oh, by the way. I never brought this up, but how about I take you into Port Angeles this weekend? It's an hour or so away from here, but it's the only city I think your parents would be comfortable letting you drive to with a complete stranger."

I nodded. "No, that would be fine. I've never been to Port Angeles before."

He flashed his smile at me, that smile that was made for Colgate commercials. "Great. I'll pick you up around ten on Saturday morning. How does that sound?"

"That sounds—"

I never got the chance to tell him what it sounded like, because in that moment I looked up and saw a stricken, horrified look on his face, his ocher eyes focused on something behind me. I turned around to see what he was staring at, and immediately felt time stop. A huge green SUV was spinning out of control, about ready to pin the two of us against Edward's car.

I stood rooted to the spot with my eyes closed, bracing myself for the inevitable impact. But instead of being thrown backwards, I was thrown to the side. My eyes flew open in surprise and a moment that lasted a lifetime later, I was pinned to the ground by Edward, who had thrown me out of the way.

"Bella," he said in a smooth voice that gave no indication that he was almost killed by an oncoming deathtrap, "are you okay?"

My voice, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as smooth. "Yeah," I gasped, "I'm fine."

Edward's Volvo, however, hadn't fared quite as well. The moment after I reassured him that I was fine, a deafening, earth-shattering crash echoed through the parking lot. I looked up and saw the SUV completely demolish the silver car.

When the crash site had settled, Edward got off me and let me stand up. The scene had begun to gather a crowd as he tried to wrench open the driver's side door. I tried to keep them away for a little while as he assessed the damage.

"Who's in there?" I asked.

"Mike," he replied.

I gasped. "Oh my God, is he okay?"

When he didn't say anything, I walked to the other side of the car to see if he was alright. I looked up and found that dark, murderous look in Edward's eyes, his fists clenched tightly to his sides. He stood as still as a statue, not moving, not blinking, not even breathing. After a quick glance inside the car, I saw that Mike's unconscious body was slumped over the steering wheel as blood dripped from several wounds in his head. He was breathing, but very, very faintly.

"Edward," I said very slowly in an attempt to keep me calm before I fainted at the unwelcome sight, "give me your phone."

When he didn't do anything, I reached into his pocket and pulled it out myself. With his phone in my hand, I abruptly turned around and headed to a quieter corner of the parking lot. Unfortunately, the crowd followed me.

"Oh my God, is Mike alright?" Lauren screamed.

"It was my fault, I told him to do a doughnut!" Jessica wailed in despair.

"He just got that car too," Tyler murmured.

"Bella, he's going to be alright, right?" they all asked. "He's going to be fine, tell me he's going to be fine."

"Shut up," I said as I dialed nine-one-one and held the phone up to my ear. "I'm calling an ambulance right now."

"Hello?" a polite, but distant female voice answered on the other end.

"I need an ambulance right away," I informed her in a surprisingly calm voice. "There was a crash here in the parking lot of Forks High and my friend is in the driver's seat, unconscious."

"Okay," she said. I heard some typing in the background. "Where did you say you were again, ma'am?"

"Forks High," I repeated. "Please get here quickly. He's in pretty bad shape."

"An ambulance is on your way."

"Thank you," I said, and with those two words, I hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. Then I turned to the crowd that had gathered around me during the phone call and announced, "They're sending an ambulance, so it might be a while."

A murmur passed through the crowd. Then all of a sudden, a million questions were being launched at me at light speed. Luckily Edward walked up to me an instant later. "Bella, we have to get out of here now," he whispered in my ear.

I looked at him strangely. "What?"

"We have to leave. Now."

"But your car—"

"It doesn't matter. I'll take care of it tomorrow."

"Edward, you can't just—"

"Now."

His voice was so demanding, so authoritative, that I couldn't do anything but nod. He grabbed my hand and I was electrified by his icy cold touch. Together, we pushed our way through the crowd and back into my forest.

When we were once again in the clearing, Edward faced me, a strange expression in his eyes. I couldn't describe the strange feelings that roiled through me as I looked into their fathomless depths: hunger, horror, intensity, danger seemed to plague him all at once in a way that both frightened and excited me at the same time. "Bella, I know this will sound strange, but I need you to get on my back."

He was right. It did sound strange. "What?"

"Please, just do it."

I didn't dare disobey. I circled him and he crouched down as to allow me to wrap my arms around his neck. Then quick as a flash, he reached down underneath my knees and hoisted me higher onto his back. "Hold on tightly."

"What if I hurt you?"

"You won't."

Reluctantly, I strengthened my hold around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. The next instant, the two of us were flying, cutting through the thick vegetation at a speed I never thought possible.

I was terrified, but thrilled at the same time. I was terrified because I didn't know exactly what was happening. But I was thrilled because I always wanted to feel this; I always wanted to feel the wind whooshing past so fast that it felt as though I was flying. I made a mental note to check this off my list once I got home.

Then it stopped as abruptly as it started. "Bella," Edward said, "we're here."

It took me a moment to catch up to where exactly we were. We were in another clearing, but a completely different one with a huge, lovely house right in the middle of it. It took me a moment, but I unclamped my grip around his neck and waist and clumsily managed to get my two feet back onto the ground.

"Where is here, exactly?" I asked slowly.

For the first time since I met him, Edward looked a bit apprehensive. "Here is my home."

I took a moment to examine the beautiful house before turning to examine the beautiful specimen that somehow got me there. "And how, exactly, did we get here?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but was abruptly interrupted when the front door of the house burst open. We whipped our heads in the direction and saw Rosalie stomp down the front steps at an inhuman speed. She ceased to even look like Rosalie; instead she was a blur of blonde hair and the red dress she was wearing.

"Edward!" she screeched. "What the hell did you do?"

"Rose, give him a chance to breathe," a deeper voice called from the doorway. I glanced up and saw Emmet calling to her, trying to get her to calm down. Rosalie, however, had no intention of giving Edward a chance to breathe. Instead, her fists came flying at Edward's chest so fast that they became nothing but blurs. The sound was absolutely horrific: it sounded like gigantic boulders falling on top of each other.

"Rose, stop," Edward said calmly, waiting for his sister to cease her attack on his hapless chest. It became increasingly more obvious to me that something was most definitely out of the ordinary and that I probably should have been more worried than I was.

"You brought her here on your back, like some common horse!" she screamed. "You brought her here, to a place where she doesn't belong! How dare you!"

"Edward," I called over her yells and the deafening sound of her fists against his chest, "I think she's right. I think you should take me home right now."

He shook his head. "Not yet. I have to explain this to you."

At that moment, Emmet strolled down the steps and pulled Rosalie off of Edward. "Rose, leave him alone. You can berate him later, okay?"

Rose struggled against Emmet's muscles, but lost. In the end, her limbs went limp and she huffed an indignant breath. When Emmet let her go, she stomped back up the stairs, all the while muttering violently to herself. When she was out of sight, Emmet turned to me sheepishly. "It was really nice to meet you, Bella," he said. "Sorry about Rose. She's a little pig-headed when she wants to be."

"I heard that!" she shouted.

He grinned and reached out to pat me comfortingly on the shoulder. "Edward, you better explain fast before Rose comes back to kill you." And with that, he too climbed up the front steps and disappeared into the beautiful house.

"So," I said casually, as if this sort of thing happened every day, "want to tell me what all of that was about?"

I watched as Edward took a deep breath. "Bella, there's something I have to tell you. It explains everything that you just saw and my motives in the parking lot earlier. Just please, hear me out." When I didn't say anything, he continued. "I'm a vampire."

**A/N - Don't forget to review!**


	6. Edward: Not So Bad

**Edward: Not so Bad**

She stared at me for a few moments; I could almost see the cogs work in her mind, trying to work out what I had just told her. "You're a vampire," she repeated very slowly. "You're a vampire. As in you drink human blood?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, I don't drink human blood. It's tempting, but I drink animal blood. I don't want to hurt anyone."

She studied me closely, then nodded. "So that's why we had to leave the crash site so quickly? You were tempted by the sight of Mike's open wounds and you didn't want to do anything that would give you away."

I was surprised by her astute conclusions. "Yes, how did you…?"

"I just worked it out," she said with a shrug. "You're right, it did explain everything. At least, the fact that you're not human explains how you managed to get us here so quickly."

I frowned. "You're not terrified."

She shook her head and smiled. "It takes a lot to get me scared nowadays."

I was indignant. "Did you not hear what I just said? Don't you understand? You're in danger every moment we spend together. I could _kill_ you. I could drain you of every drop of blood and make it look like a complete accident."

She smiled patiently. "Then why haven't you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but found that the words would not come. When I didn't say anything, she closed the distance between us. "Edward, I realize that you think you're a monster, but you're not. You don't want to hurt anyone. You saved my _life_ today. I think that there's good in you."

Once again, she shocked me into complete silence. I couldn't think of anything to say to this, so instead, she studied my home. "I'd really like to meet the rest of your family, but I think it might have to wait for another day. My parents expect me home soon, so would you mind…?"

I suddenly remembered what was happening. "Of course," I murmured. "Let me just go ask to borrow Carlisle's car." Then I turned towards the house and called, "Hey, Dad? Can I borrow your car?"

_Sure_, I heard him think. _What happened to yours?_

I sighed, knowing very well that the rest of the family could hear what was going on. "It's a long story. I'll tell you later."

_Okay. Bring it back with a full tank_.

"Will do," I called as I took Bella's hand carefully and trudged through the wild grasses to the garage.

"What just happened?" she asked in fascination as I opened the garage door and turned on the lights.

"As I'm sure you've probably already realized, the rest of my family—Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie are vampires too," I explained. "And as a vampire, all of our senses are heightened, especially the sense of smell. As I'm talking to you right now, everyone in the house can hear us."

She nodded. "Okay."

But it wasn't the whole truth, and for some reason, I felt the need to be completely truthful with her. "But with me, it's different. I can hear as well as any vampire, but I can also hear someone's thoughts. My family knows, so most of the time they don't have to say anything. Carlisle didn't say a word, he just thought and I heard."

Bella's eyes widened in horror. "You can hear people's thoughts?"

I smiled grimly. "Now are you worried?"

"Yes!" she cried as her hands flew up to her blushing cheeks. "Oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed!"

I was confused. "Why are you…? Oh," I drawled out the last syllable in understanding. "I can't hear your thoughts, if that's what you're worried about."

"You can't?"

I shook my head. "It can be really frustrating sometimes, but I think it's just because you're mind is on a different wavelength. Like I'm only picking on AM, but you're on FM."

"Oh. That's good then."

I opened her car door for her and gestured for her to get inside. "Why? Why were you so embarrassed? Do you have embarrassing thoughts?"

I watched as a delicate shade of pink spread through her cheeks. "No," she said very carefully, "but there are just some things I don't want you knowing."

I scowled as I closed her door and crossed to the driver's side. "Like that dream you had last night?" I asked as I got in.

"Yes, exactly," she said. "So it's very reassuring that you can't hear my thoughts."

"For you," I muttered. "For me it's hell."

"Why would you need to hear my thoughts anyway, Edward?" she teased lightly. "You know I don't lie. What I say is what I mean."

"But you edit," I accused.

She scoffed. "Hardly." She took a moment to admire the interior of Carlisle's car before she asked another question. "So how did you get us to your house so fast?"

I smiled a little. "I ran."

The incredulity on her face was priceless. "You _ran_?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"No…it's just…that was amazing!" she exclaimed. "It was such a rush!"

I felt a grin tugging on the corners of my lips. "You liked it?"

"I loved it," she sighed as she leaned back.

"Yet you hate it when I drive too fast?"

"Don't you remember what happened this afternoon? We were almost killed because Mike Newton was doing doughnuts too fast in the student parking lot. You can't die when you run fast, but you can die when you drive too fast."

I snorted. "It's Newton's own fault. He shouldn't have been doing doughnuts in the student parking lot."

She raised her eyebrows. "You really don't like him, do you?"

"Normally, I don't care. Newton doesn't bother me and I don't bother him. But lately, he's just been getting on my nerves. He's acting like a spoiled brat, and it doesn't help that I can hear what he thinks."

"So how does that work?" she asked excitedly. "Can all vampires read minds, or is it just you?"

I shook my head. "I'm fairly certain that it's just me. Carlisle thinks that we bring our strongest trait with us from our human life into the next one, only it's magnified to a greater degree. He thinks that I was particularly attuned to the thoughts of others when I was still human."

Her eyes widened. "Really? What about the rest of your family, then? What did they bring?"

I smirked at her childlike curiosity. "Carlisle has extreme compassion. Esme brought her love, Emmet brought his strength, and Rose…well let's just say that Rose brought her tenacity."

"What about Alice and Jasper?"

"That's where it gets interesting. We believe that Jasper was very aware of the emotions in others and also very charismatic in his past life because he has the ability to feel what others are feeling. He also has the power to calm people down and rile people up as he sees fit. And Alice had some sort of foresight, because she has the ability to read the future."

I almost feared that her eyes would pop out of their sockets, they had opened so wide. "Really? She can see the future?"

"It's not set in stone though. She only sees the consequences of certain decisions."

Bella nodded as we pulled up to her house. "I hope you realize that I have about a million questions for you."

I chuckled. "I can only imagine."

"Can I call you later?"

I ran my finger over my lip in deep contemplation. "Tell you what: how about I come over later?"

I could tell that my suggestion threw her off a little. "How later?"

I chuckled. "You'll know. Just leave your window open."

If she was surprised, it didn't show on her face. Instead she nodded and hopped out of the car without looking back.

On my way home, bracing myself to face the wrath of my very pissed off sister, I thought about Bella's straight-faced reaction to my surprising confession. How could she take something like this so calmly? How could she possibly continue to see me as a friend after she realized who I was, what I was? What the hell was she thinking? Not for the first time, it drove me insane that I couldn't hear what she was thinking.

Unsurprisingly, the moment I got home, Rosalie was waiting to berate me once again in the foyer. "How could you?" she shrieked. "You told her, you told her what you are without consulting us!"

I sighed tiredly. "You knew that I would."

"Rose—" Emmet tried, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"She doesn't deserve to know! You've endangered this entire family!"

Finally, I snapped. "Rose, stop!" I shouted. "You're acting like a child. She knows now and I can't take back what I said. Now, if shouting at me makes you feel better then go ahead. But nothing you do or say can change what's in the past. Sooner or later you're going to have to accept the fact that she knows."

She didn't say anything, but her mind continued to hurl rather unsavory comments at me, all of them saying the same thing. After a few moments of a silent standoff, she stalked off.

Emmet walked up to me and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "I'll try and talk some sense into her."

I nodded. "Thanks."

He paused before he followed her up the stairs. "Just out of curiosity…why _did_ you tell Bella?"

"Mike Newton got into a car crash and there were open wounds. I needed to get away."

"But you didn't have to take Bella with you," Emmet pointed out.

He was right. I didn't. So why did I?

"She's…she's special," I finished lamely. "I can't explain it, but to me she's different from all the other humans. There's just something about her. Do you know what I mean?"

I looked up and felt a little bit of surprise to see my brother smiling knowingly at me. "Yeah. I know how you feel."

I smiled gratefully. It brightened my outlook to know that I wasn't the only one knew what this was.

Later that night, I snuck out of the house and ran through the forest to get to Bella's house. I'd been watching her for the past several nights, so I knew that around this time she would be doing her homework alone in her bedroom.

I climbed the tree next to her window and peered through for a minute. She was sitting at her desk as usual, the picture of a perfect student. But there was something in her body language that told me she was a little tense.

When I couldn't stay in the tree any longer, I very nimbly leapt onto her windowsill and climbed through the open window. She whipped her head around and her eyes and smile widened. "Edward!" she cried.

I chuckled. "I tried to make as little noise as possible, but I see that was a waste."

"No, I didn't hear you. I smelled you."

Once again, she shocked me with her astuteness. I smiled at her and she smiled back hesitantly, the tension once again written in her features.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"How…how far can you read people's thoughts?"

"I can hear within a four mile radius," he replied. "With my family, I can hear even farther."

I watched as the color in her face all of a sudden drained. "Are you okay? Are you embarrassed? Bella, I already told you that I can't read your—"

"It's not my thoughts I'm worried about," she said. "Um, look Edward…I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't read my parents' thoughts."

A furrow of confusion etched its way between my brows. "Why?"

"Just, please Edward?" she pleaded. "Please respect their privacy? I really don't want their thoughts being heard by anyone."

If I said that I wasn't curious, I would have been lying. Why was Bella so concerned with her parents' thoughts? What could they be thinking that she didn't want me to hear?

"What if there's something wrong? What if there's some kind of emergency and I need to read their minds to know what's going on?"

"Okay, barring some big emergency, promise me that you won't read my parents' thoughts unless it's a last resort. Please, Edward. I'm asking this of you as a friend."

I took one look into those pleading chocolate brown orbs and felt myself falling under their spell. What was it about this strange human with these eyes that made me say things, do things that were against my custom? What was it about her that made me break the rules?

"I promise."

**A/N - Whew! Another chapter down!**

**So a lot of you want to know if Bella's dying, if Bella's _going_ to die, and what she's dying of. Well if I told you, it wouldn't be much of surprise then, would it? Hmm? That's right. You guys are just going to have to wait. :)**

**Don't forget to review! And be sure to check out my writer's blog (listed as the homepage on my profile) for extra notes on this chapter.**


	7. Bella: Getting Closer

**Bella: Getting Closer**

After the first night, Edward began visiting me on a nightly basis. I wondered at first if I should tell my parents, but I came to the difficult conclusion that if I informed them, I would eventually have to tell them what he was. And as much as I hated lying, I couldn't put Edward and his family in such danger. I could have told him to cease the visits altogether so I wouldn't have been put in the awful position of lying to cover for him, but I was growing too close to him to even suggest it. Therefore, I wrote down and practiced several stories and excuses in case my parents heard the two of us at night. Luckily, Edward was always so quiet when entering and leaving my house that I never had to use them.

On one of these visits, Edward asked quite suddenly, "What are you telling your parents about me?"

Even though my blushing rate had subsided considerably since I started spending more time in his presence, my face lit up like a Christmas tree at his unexpected question. "I've been telling them that you're my friend…" I trailed off a little uncertainly. "And that you're taking me to Port Angeles tomorrow. Why?"

I examined his facial expression as he answered. Unfortunately, I seemed to forget the fact that Edward Cullen had long since mastered the art of the poker face. "I was just wondering." But I didn't believe him. I knew he asked that question for a reason yet unknown to me.

And I really had told them that Edward was taking me to Port Angeles. While my parents were both worried for my health in such a dramatically different environment than Forks, they had no qualms in letting me go with someone they had never met before. In fact, they were rather glad that I was making friends so quickly.

"Oh, Bells!" my mother sighed happily. "I was so worried that the other kids would be mean to you. But I should have known better! You're such a sweet girl, anyone would have to be out of their mind to not want to be your friend."

I grinned. She only had half the truth; all the boys wanted to be my friends, but the girls—with several exceptions—wanted nothing to do with me.

As promised, Edward showed up on my doorstep, promptly at ten o'clock. My mother opened the door and beamed at him like the prodigal son. "You must be Edward Cullen! Come in, dear, come in!"

"It's wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Swan," he said in a charmingly smooth voice. I knew instantly that he had won her over.

"Oh no, the pleasure's all mine!" giggled my mother as she led him into the kitchen. "It's nice to finally meet one of Bella's friends. I was so worried, you see. I was afraid that she might not make any friends. I'm sure you know how she shy she is—"

"Mom!" I cried out in horror.

But she continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "She's a dear girl, she really is. And all those horrible stories about the kids in high school." She shuddered. "I didn't want my Bells to have an experience like that."

"Mom," I begged. "Please?"

My mother seemed to forget that I was even in the room, but Edward turned his head and shot me a devilish grin. "Mrs. Swan, you're daughter's much too nice for anyone to terrorize her like that. And she's a very sweet girl, like you said, so she's making friends very easily."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" she said with exaggerated relief. "Would you like anything to eat?"

"No thank you," he said very politely. "I ate before I left."

She nodded. "Well then, I suppose you two should get on your way. Bella, sweetie, do you have everything you need?"

"Yes, mom," I said quickly. I didn't want my mother to make a scene and start fussing over me right in front of Edward. "My water bottle, extra tissues, my blanket, my wallet and my phone. I have everything, don't worry."

She nodded again, this time with her brow furrowed in maternal worry. "Well, alright then. You two have fun. And take care of yourself, okay? I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Swan," he said very soothingly. "I'll make sure Bella's safe."

Wow, I thought to myself as I shook my head slightly to shake off the spell that Edward's dazzling smile cast over the female occupants of the room. He was pulling out all the charm to win over my mother, and it was working very well.

"Oh, I'm so glad! Well then, off you two go!" She followed us out to the front porch and watched with misty eyes as Edward helped me into his car. "Take care of yourselves!"

We waved to her as Edward slowly (for his standards) pulled out of the driveway. Once we had rounded the corner, I saw his leg shift, as if he were pushing his foot further down on the pedal. I tried to ignore this.

"So," he said with a grin, "your mother was lovely."

I groaned. "No, that was embarrassing."

His grin grew. "She's your mother. She's just worried."

I grumbled a bit under my breath. "You're only saying that because she's not your mother."

I heard him chuckle. "Oh, Esme doesn't have anything to worry about when it comes to me. You, on the other hand…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"It means that your mother has every right to be worried for you. You manage to trip over absolutely nothing on a daily basis. It's a small wonder that you're still alive."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Not all of us are vampires, you know," I retorted. "We can't all be perfect."

Immediately, I wished I hadn't said anything. "I'm far from perfect, Bella," Edward replied quietly as his golden eyes darkened. "If only you knew…"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. My time spent with Edward taught me that he had a penchant for self-deprecation. "I do know," I reminded him. "You told me before. And I just don't think that you should continue to beat yourself up about this."

"You still don't get it," he said as his hands tightened over the steering wheel. "You're in danger every moment we spend together. You more than anyone."

This time, I didn't even bother trying to stop my eyeballs from rolling. "And you still don't get it either. I don't care."

He whipped his head over to glare at me so fast, his head had blurred. "Have you no sense of self preservation at all? Are you suicidal?"

I chuckled, but didn't reply. If he was allowed to be cryptic, then so was I.

Truthfully, I had a sense of self preservation, and I wasn't suicidal. I was just dying, and I never bothered to tell him. I couldn't bring myself to. I knew that the moment I did, he would start to treat me like some delicate little flower, never letting me out of the house and never letting me do anything for myself. He'd never see me the same way, and for once in my life, I just wanted to live like a normal teenager.

"What are you thinking of?" he asked curiously after my prolonged silence.

I stuck my tongue out at him for the second time. "I don't want to tell you."

He pulled his lip forward in a ridiculously beautiful pout that only he could pull off. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to," I said lightly, but in a tone of finality.

Edward pursed his lips, but didn't pursue the subject further. After extended contact with me, he knew that tone meant the conversation was over.

After a few moments, he reached over and turned his CD player on. My eyes widened in surprise as the opening notes of "In the Mood" blasted from the speakers.

"You listen to big band swing?" I asked.

He smirked. "Of course. I lived through the era, remember?"

I could practically feel my eyes glazing over as I stared into the windshield without actually seeing anything. "I wonder what it was like," I murmured aloud. "It's so romantic in books and movies. Was it really like that?"

I felt rather than saw him shrug. "I suppose. There was a different sort of spirit in the country at that time. We all trusted each other. Everything was rationed carefully, people lived frugally, children walked up and down their blocks with little red wagons full of scrap aluminum…we were all united in solidarity against the enemies we knew were there, but couldn't see."

I hummed along to the music, feeling the beat vibrate in my bones, making me want to get to my feet and dance. I had always wanted to learn how to swing dance, but my mother wisely kept me off the dance floor. Edward had not been exaggerating when he said that I managed to trip over absolutely nothing on a daily basis.

"Will you tell me what you're thinking now?" he asked.

"I was just thinking that I might want to learn how to swing dance," I said, my mind not fully concentrated on the present. "I've seen people do it on TV…I thought it looked so cool."

I heard the grin in his voice. "Maybe I'll teach you one day. My siblings and I can cut a rug every now and then."

The image of Jasper twirling Alice around him sprang to mind and I giggled. "And you're all probably perfect at it too."

He chuckled. "Emmet hates it though. And Rosalie doesn't like swing dancing with him if she can help it."

I laughed as the image of Jasper and Alice were replaced by the hulking figure of Emmet and the more slim and slender one of Rosalie. Emmet didn't look like the kind of guy that liked dancing, and Rosalie definitely wasn't the kind of girl that liked messing her hair.

"Speaking of Rosalie," I began in a light, teasing tone, but inwardly bracing myself for the pain, "does she still hate my guts?"

Edward turned to look at me with a sympathetic smile. "She doesn't hate your guts, Bella," he told me for the millionth time. "She's just jealous."

I shrugged one shoulder, trying not to show how much pain the rejection of one of his siblings caused me. "I don't even know why. Rosalie's absolutely gorgeous. She's got everything I don't."

My companion shook his head. "No. You have a soul and for that, she can never forgive you."

A few moments later, Edward pulled into the parking lot of a department store and turned off the ignition. Before I could even pick up my purse, he was on the other side of the car, opening the door for me and grinning chivalrously.

"You know, it still throws me off balance when you do that," I said with as much dignity as I could muster after almost falling flat on my face as I got out of the car.

He scoffed. "Anything throws you off balance. You certainly don't need my help."

I smacked him playfully on the shoulder, knowing full well that he couldn't feel it.

"So, what are we doing here?" I asked him.

"Well, I thought that maybe we could do some shopping," he said, a little too innocently.

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh? Shopping for what?"

He never got the chance to answer the question. At that moment, Alice Cullen bounded forward out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around me. "Bella, it's so great to finally meet you! I mean, I've seen you in school and all, but we've never been properly introduced and now we have!"

I blushed a deep crimson as I hugged her back, a little tentatively. "It's nice to meet you too, Alice," I replied when she pulled away. "Edward's told me so much about you."

"Yeah, Edward's talked about you too!" Alice beamed. "Sometimes he won't shut up! It's always 'Bella this' and 'Bella that' and I just had to meet you in person to see if you're really like he says."

I shot a glance at Edward and saw him glaring angrily at his sister, who in turn looked up at him with very wide, innocent eyes that probably could have fooled a lesser being. My insides, however, were doing a funny little dance. Edward talked about me? To his family? What kind of things did he say? Did he tell them about everything we had talked about? Did he mention my clumsiness? I mentally cringed in horror at the thought of an entire family of vampires being regaled with tales of me running into trees and tripping down stairs.

"Let's get going, shall we?" Edward asked hurriedly before Alice could pursue that potentially embarrassing line of conversation.

"Wait, you never answered my question," I called as I jogged to catch up with the two of them. "What are we shopping for?"

Alice giggled. "We're shopping for clothes! I've seen the stuff you wear to school, and no offense or anything, but they're not flattering for you at all."

My cheeks caught fire at the thought of Edward shopping for new clothes with us. "You're not coming, are you?" I accused.

He raised his eyebrows. "I drove all the way out here. Of course I'm coming."

"But don't guys hate shopping?" I asked, desperately trying to keep him from coming along. "It's bound to get really boring."

"Bella, you honestly don't think I'm going to pay for items of clothing that I don't approve of, do you?"

I stopped dead in my tracks as my fists flew to my hips. "And what makes you think that you're paying?" I demanded testily.

Damn that self assured smirk, I thought to myself as I slowly forgot the reason why I should be annoyed with the gorgeous vampire in the first place. "Because I say so. Come on."

"Come on, slow pokes!" Alice shouted. "What's taking you two so long?"

I reluctantly allowed myself to be dragged into the department store. My immediate thoughts upon entrance were along the lines of, _RUN!_ but Alice's grip on my arm was too tight for me to manage an escape without leaving the limb behind in the process.

"Ooh, look at that," she whispered as she dragged me off to the side to dig through racks and racks of clothing. Before I could even see what she was admiring, she pulled something off and tossed at me. "Here. Hold it and we'll go have you try it on in a moment."

And she continued to rip hangers off the racks at an alarming speed and tossing them into the large pile that was already accumulating in my arms. "Alice," I whispered hoarsely after about half an hour, "I don't need all of this. My wardrobe might not be fancy, but it's enough to keep me clothed properly."

"Nonsense!" she cried. "You'll look fantastic in these, don't worry!"

I shook my head and sighed mentally. What did I get myself into?

**A/N - I'm so sorry! I know that it took me way too long to update, but I promise that future updates will happen sooner.**

**And for those of you who want to know what Bella's dying of, you are going to have to wait! I'm not sure when you'll find out, but I need to lay some groundwork before you do, okay?**

**Don't forget to review!**


	8. Edward: Amusement and Attraction

**Edward: Amusement and Attraction**

I watched in amusement as an enthusiastic Alice dragged a reluctant Bella everywhere with her, but underneath the surface, I was confused. Normally girls loved it when guys spend money on them. They reveled in the attention and the general frivolity, but Bella…she shied away from it.

"You have to try this one on next!" Alice squealed. They had been shopping for about an hour and the entire time Alice had not let go of Bella's wrist.

"Alice, I haven't tried anything on yet," she pleaded. "You just keep adding to the pile and I haven't even gotten a chance to see what any of these look like on me."

Alice's eyes widened as she realized her mistake. "Oh wow, you're right!" She tossed whatever she had been holding at the top of the teetering pile of clothes in Bella's arms and dragged her off to the dressing rooms. "Come on, let's try them on now."

"'Let's'?" Bella asked weakly. "You're not going in there with me, are you?"

Alice giggled. "Not unless you want me to."

"No, that's okay," Bella said quickly before Alice could say anything else. "I'll be fine by myself."

When Bella had escaped into the temporary safety that the dressing rooms provided, I took the seat next to Alice and grinned at her. "You're definitely scaring her."

She smirked back. "It's what you wanted."

"Do you think she'll come out of there?" I asked as I turned my gaze back to the dressing room Bella was in.

"She's going to have to sooner or later," Alice said with a shrug. "And if she doesn't, I'll just drag her out of there. You know," she added with a wistful expression on her face, "I never got to do any of this. Or if I did, I don't have any memory of it."

I noticed the sad tenor of her thoughts and wrapped my arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture. "Well then you can always live vicariously through Bella."

"That's what I plan on doing."

Two minutes later, we heard Bella's incredulous whine erupting from behind the door to the dressing room. "You don't _seriously_ expect me to wear this, do you?"

"Yes," we both replied simultaneously.

"Edward!" she shrieked. "No, you're not allowed to see this! Go away!"

"I thought we already covered this," I said patiently. "If I'm going to pay then I'm going to have to see it."

"I never said you were going to pay!" she shouted indignantly. "And no one is going to buy this anyways, so it doesn't matter!"

Without making a sound, Alice leapt gracefully from her chair and crawled under the tiny opening of the door. The subsequent shriek brought a grin to my face as I ignored the strange looks I was getting from the other patrons of the store. And no one else could hear the conversation the two of them were having…but then again, no one else was a vampire.

"Alice, I'm not—"

"Bella, it looks fine!"

"No it doesn't, you can see _everything_—"

"That's what it's _supposed_ to look like. Now stop being such a baby and—"

The next moment the door burst open and Bella came stumbling out in a simple white, A-line skirt that stopped mid-thigh and a light blue, scoop-necked blouse that accentuated the curves that you hardly noticed in her usual clothing.

She blushed when she saw me and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't like it," she declared. "The skirt's too short and the neckline is too low. I'm not buying it."

"I know you're not," I said as I scanned her outfit appreciatively. I had been right to ask Alice to come on this shopping expedition with me; she definitely knew how to dress Bella the _right_ way. "I'm buying it."

She turned even redder, but not from embarrassment. "You keep saying that."

"Because it's true."

Before she could say anything else, though, Alice reached out from inside the dressing room and pulled Bella back inside to try on something else.

Over the next fifteen minutes, Bella ended up trying on twenty different outfits, most of which she claimed were hideous and completely wrong for her and all of which she looked wonderful in. So her comments were soundly ignored.

So was her credit card. When we dragged her to the cashier to pay for the clothes, she attempted to pay for everything, but I smoothly reached for her hand and held it closely to my side as Alice handed over her credit card. I could tell it wasn't the action that Bella had been expecting because she turned a delightful shade of pink that didn't subside.

"That was fun!" Alice declared happily as she skipped out of the store and back to our cars. "Where are we going to go next?"

Bella wasn't saying anything, and I had an idea why. My fingers were still wrapped around her hand; I hadn't let go of it and I wasn't planning on it anytime soon. This arrangement was too nice.

"Let's get Bella some lunch." I turned to her and asked, "You didn't eat breakfast, did you?"

She shook her head.

"Okay then. Let's go to that Italian place we saw on the way up here," suggested Alice.

I shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

After Alice threw all the shopping bags unceremoniously into her car, she pealed out of the parking lot and drove off. I chuckled to myself and helped Bella into the Volvo.

The ride to the restaurant was a silent one and I had the distinct feeling that she wanted to say something, but was too nervous or too afraid to speak up. But neither of us were left to dwell on this fact; in absolutely no time (thanks to my penchant for speeding) we reached the place Alice had mentioned.

The moment I stepped out of the car, Alice bounded out of nowhere and beamed at the two of us. "Shall we?" she asked rhetorically as she led the way into the clichéd restaurant.

Of course the seating hostess was a female. Unsurprisingly, she looked me over with great interest while I tried to convey to her how bored I was. "Table for three?" she asked as she glanced at our party. She regarded Bella with a dismissive sniff, but her hostility towards Alice seemed to radiate from her in waves. She was lucky Jasper wasn't with us otherwise she might have been in considerable danger.

"Yes please," replied Alice cheerfully, acting completely oblivious to the hostess' clear resentment.

The hostess grabbed three menus from the stack and led us through the dimly lit restaurant. I tried blocking out the woman's insipid thoughts, but they continued to bore into me like a drill. _He's obviously not going out with that frumpy looking brunette. And the other girl looks like his sister. Maybe he's single_…

I rolled my eyes. _Shows how much you know,_ I thought back savagely. _Bella is not frumpy_.

_Let's screw with her head_, I heard Alice think aloud.

I gave a small grin that I knew she saw. She took it as an affirmative.

"Oh my God, these tables are so gross!" Alice exclaimed when the hostess led us to the booth. "Don't you people wipe them off before you make us sit in them?"

Bella's jaw dropped open and I smiled when I saw a muscle twitch in the hostess' cheek.

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and pulled her closer while throwing the hostess a haughty glare. It was difficult to concentrate on my facial expressions when Bella's intoxicating scent was wafting right underneath my nose, and it was made ten million times worse as I smelled the fresh blood that was rushing to her face. "Is it possible that you can give us a table that's properly wiped off instead of one that you just glanced over?"

She turned my way and offered me a very gracious smile, but I heard her murderous train of thought when she saw where my arm was. "Certainly sir. I'm so sorry about this, I'll get a busboy on it right away."

"Why don't you do it?" demanded Alice. "I mean, you're standing right there. And look," she pointed at a wet rag on another table, "there's something you can wipe it off with."

The twitch was back. "Ma'am, it's not my job—"

"It would be a lot easier if you just wiped it yourself," I pointed out, "instead of having to call a busboy."

Alice and I exchanged smirks when we noticed that the hostess' fists were clenched so hard that her knuckles turned white. "Very well then," she said through gritted teeth. And with very forced, mechanical movements, she walked towards the table, picked up the rag, and began to wipe the table down.

"You missed a spot," Alice pointed to a very tiny corner of the table.

I suppressed my chuckles when I heard the insults she mentally directed at my sister. She wiped the spot several times just to make a point. "Is that better?" she growled.

"Yes," I said imperiously.

"Good. Just take a seat, your waitress will be with you—"

"Ew! I'm not going to sit there, the table's still wet!" cried Alice. "Go get a paper towel or something and dry it off!"

"Ma'am, I—"

"God, this place is so disgusting, Edward!" she continued. "And the service is awful!"

"Quite right," I nodded. "Perhaps we should take our business elsewhere."

"No, please," the hostess tried to placate us. She disappeared for a moment and came back with a paper towel and dried off the wet table. "Is that better for you, ma'am?"

Alice sniffed. "I suppose."

"Great," the hostess said in a rushed voice. She ripped off a ticket from her notepad and laid it out on the table. "Your waitress will be with you shortly." And she walked away before we could demand anything else of her.

Alice and I snickered and sat down after Bella scooted into the booth. "Did you see the look on her face when she walked off?" Alice giggled.

I nodded. "If she stayed here any longer, I think she might have strangled you."

Alice shot us a self-satisfied smirk. "That should teach her. I'm the customer and I'm always right."

"Why did you guys do that?" Bella asked in awe. "You were being so mean to her!"

"She was being mean to all of us," I explained. "She was thinking really horrible things about you and Alice and we had to do something to mess with her head."

Bella still looked unsure, so Alice offered her a nugget of reassurance. "How about this, Bella: before we leave, we'll leave her a generous tip."

Bella nodded. She realized that it was the closest to an apology as we were going to get.

As promised, our waitress was with us shortly and she was thinking rather murderous thoughts towards my sister as well, but out of respect for Bella's sensitive feelings, we decided to leave this one alone.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?" she asked as she pulled out her notepad and a pen.

"We'll have three cokes," I told her.

She shot me what I assumed was a flirty grin, but I only smiled blandly back. When she was gone, I turned back to the two girls sitting across from me. "So, where do you want to go after this?"

"More shopping!" cried Alice gleefully. "Bella still needs shoes, and I was hoping that we could go get her hair cut. And she'll need a new raincoat, I saw the one she had on last Friday, and it was absolutely _hideous_…oh, and she'll need a few handbags to go with her new shoes…oh, and I completely forgot about lingerie!"

My throat was suddenly dry at the thought of Bella trying on the sort of items you find in Victoria's Secret. I knew my self-control was pretty good, but I wasn't ready to test it yet.

But Bella put her foot down. "No," she said firmly. "You can make me buy as many shoes as you want, but I am _not_ buying lingerie."

Alice looked disappointed, but she relented.

The waitress came back with our drinks and Bella placed her order. I claimed that I had already eaten and Alice declared that she was watching her weight. The waitress threw her a look of disgust and jealousy as she walked away with Bella's order in hand.

After Bella had finished eating, we paid and left. True to our word, we also left a fifty dollar tip to the seating hostess for being so demanding.

"Come again soon," she cooed to our retreating forms. Alice and I grimaced to each other as we walked to our cars.

The rest of the day passed in relative peace. After a while, Bella let herself go and she began to enjoy herself. She even relented into letting us buy her twenty pairs of shoes for her fifty new outfits. And she protested that she never really carried purses with her, but that didn't stop Alice from buying ten new handbags.

All in all, the three of us enjoyed ourselves. But the final test was the ride home. Without having to read her mind, I knew that Bella wanted to talk to me and truthfully, I wanted to talk to her as well.

"So," she began as we pulled out of the parking lot of the last store at the end of the day, "about earlier, at the department store…"

"Did it bother you?" I asked anxiously. I didn't want to cause her discomfort.

She shook her head. "No, it didn't bother me. I was just confused."

When I didn't say anything, she continued. "What does this mean?"

I didn't say anything for a while as I thought. What _did_ it mean? I had certainly conceded to the fact many, many weeks ago that I was attracted to Bella Swan, far more than I had a right to be. She was beautiful, perfect, exquisite and complex…she was so much more than a human, so much more than I could ever be. And I hated myself that I liked her so much. I hated that I constantly put her in danger when she didn't deserve it.

"What do you want it to mean?" I finally asked. We were almost to her house.

She didn't say anything as we pulled into her driveway. Instead, when I parked the car and turned off the ignition, she pulled my face towards hers and kissed me on the lips.

**A/N - Haha, cliffie! Well, not really...but a sort of cliffie.**

**Review and I'll update quick! I swear!**


	9. Bella: Secrets

**Bella: Secrets**

I don't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was because he held my hand in the department store, or maybe it was because he wrapped his arm around my waist at the restaurant. All I know is that I wanted to kiss Edward Cullen. And so I did.

It wasn't a lingering kiss. It was a chaste peck because he had already told me how difficult it was for him to restrain himself whenever he was in close contact with me and I didn't want to make it harder for him than it already was. But the short kiss was definitely enough to send shivers down my spine and more than enough to make me want more. "I want it to mean that we're more than just friends, Edward. I really like you, and I've never felt like this with anyone before. But this isn't just about me. It's about you too. So I'm going to get out of this car and I want you to think about what _you_ want. The ball's in your court now." I reached for the door handle and got ready to get out of the car. "Just remember that whatever you choose, I still want to be your friend and I want you to be mine." Then I smiled softly at him. "Good night."

As I bounded up my porch, I smiled to myself, knowing that I had just stunned Edward Cullen, _the_ Edward Cullen completely speechless. I like to think that I'm the only person that can do that.

After I unlocked the door, I announced, "Mom! I'm home!"

She poked her head from inside the kitchen and beamed at me. "Hello, Bella. Did you have a good time?"

I nodded, knowing that the grin on my face said it all. "I had a great time. Edward's sister joined us later and she made me buy a bunch of stuff. She's coming over later to bring it all over."

My mother's face fell. "Bella, sweetie, you know we're not made of money. How much did you buy?"

I sighed to show my frustration. "I didn't buy any of it. Alice insisted on paying for it all."

She frowned. "She did?"

"Yeah. I kept trying to pay for it, but she wouldn't let me. At one point she took the credit card from my hands and wouldn't let me have it back until we left the store."

"Oh dear," my mother said with a worried look on her face. "How much did she spend? I hope she didn't spend too much. I'll have to pay her back…"

"She probably won't let you," I said as I helped myself to an apple from the lazy-susan on the kitchen table. "She told me not to worry because she has more money than she knows what to do with."

"Well I'll try anyways," she said, still unconvinced. "You said she was coming over later tonight?"

"Yeah," I said as I shoved the bit of apple I was chewing to the inside of my cheek. "She said she'll come around six to drop off the stuff and just hang out for a while. Is that okay?"

My mom nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Kay. I'm just going to go upstairs then."

"Wait, Bells. I want to talk to you for a second."

I stopped on the bottom stair and turned to my mom, looking at her expectantly. Her expression puzzled me. She looked like she was anxious about something, and she was never anxious when she wanted to talk with me. "What's up?"

"It's about Edward," she began. Then it all rushed out, like she had been holding it in and been meaning to let it out. "Idonhinkyoushouldseehimanymore."

My eyebrows shot up my forehead. "What?"

She took a deep breath and said it slower. "I don't think you should see him anymore. I can tell that the two of you are very close, but you're not being very fair to him sweetie."

I immediately bristled. "What do you mean?"

She sighed in exasperation. "You know what I mean. You two are obviously getting very attached in a very short amount of time, and I think that's fantastic. But it's obvious that he likes you very much and…well…you're not going to be around for long."

I did something very rare. I got angry with my mother. "Are you telling me that _I'm_ not being fair to him?"

"Sweetie, don't take it that way," she said desperately. "It's just…it's not fair to him to get so attached to you when you're…well, when…you know…"

"Why don't you just say it?" I demanded. "When I'm going to die! Just say it! You can't accept the fact that it's going to happen, can you?"

"Bella—"

"No!" I screamed. "I've been listening to you all my life! That's all I've ever done! I've been stuck inside this stupid house since I was born because of _you_! I've never been able to have _any_ friends because of your stupid rules, and now that I actually _do_ have friends you want to take them away from me!"

I saw the tears well up in her eyes, but I was too far over the edge to care. "Bella, sweetie, it's not like that—"

"Yes it is!" I shouted savagely. "You just have to control every part of my life, don't you? Even when it's not going to last much longer! Well guess what? It's _my_ life! Not yours! I don't have a lot of time left, and I'm going to live how I want, and you're not going to stop me!" And with that, I stomped up the stairs, desperately trying to keep the tears from falling.

When I finally got to my room, I slammed the door and threw myself onto the bed, burying my face into my pillow. And then all the tears came out.

This was my last chance, my very last chance to find that one special person that I could love with all my heart, and my mother wanted to take it away from me. She wanted to stop it because it wasn't fair to _him_.

Ten minutes later, I heard a soft knock on the door. I gritted my teeth. "Go away, Mom! I don't want to talk to you!"

"Bells, it's me," my dad's voice answered. "Please, let me in."

I sighed and reluctantly heaved myself out of my bed to open the door. He smiled sadly when he saw me. "So how was your day?"

"It was fine," I said stiffly. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you."

I nodded mutely and stepped aside to let him come into my room. I didn't find anything wrong with talking to my dad. None of this was his fault.

"So, your mother just told me about the conversation the two of you had," he began very slowly. I grunted in response.

He sighed. "Bella…just hear me out, okay? I think your mother has a point. If you're going to continue this relationship or friendship, or whatever it is you and Edward have, you should at least tell him what's going on. But I don't believe that you have to stop seeing him." He sighed again and looked at me sadly. "We're just worried about you Bells."

I snorted. "Mom's not. She's more concerned about being fair to Edward than she is about my happiness."

My father frowned at me. "You know that's not true. You know that your mother and I care about your happiness very much. We just want Edward to be warned ahead of time, so he can prepare himself."

I hesitated and then nodded stubbornly as I wiped the tears from my face. "I know. But this is my life. And Edward's my friend. I like having friends now."

"I know you do. And I think it's fantastic that you have friends. We're just saying that you should be fair to them. You need to let them know that you don't have much time left."

It was my turn to sigh. "Just…just give me a while, okay, Dad? I'll tell him. Just not now."

He nodded. "That's good enough for me." Then he wrapped his arms around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "Now I think you owe your mother an apology."

I sighed again, but nodded. I was being too harsh on her and she was probably still crying right now. We both got up and I followed him down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Renee? Bella wants to tell you something."

I looked up and winced at my mother's tear-stained face. "I'm sorry mom," I told her sincerely. "I know that you care about me, and I know that you were just trying to do what was best. I was just…I guess I was just being overly-sensitive about it."

"Oh, Bells!" she wailed as she rushed over to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry for even suggesting it! You're completely right, it's your life and you deserve to live it however you want! I'm not going to interfere anymore, I promise. I just…I just want you to enjoy the rest of your time here."

I scrunched up my face in an attempt to keep myself from crying. "It's okay, Mom. I'm sorry for yelling at you. And I didn't mean all those horrible things I said."

"Oh, I know you didn't." And she hugged me tighter as I squeezed back.

We hugged and wept a little while longer until Dad got impatient and asked not-so-politely when dinner was going to be served. At that, my mother jumped and ran to the stove to check to see if anything was burning. Meanwhile, it gave me time to think about what my parents had told me.

It was true that I was holding off telling Edward. I just didn't want him to treat me like a dying girl, even if I was. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but if he was already so concerned about me just spending time with him because something as silly as vampirism, he definitely wouldn't let me out of the house if I told him I was going to die anyways.

But my parents were right. I had to tell him because I wasn't being fair. Even if he was the equivalent of a Greek god, he still had human emotions (despite the fact that he would constantly downplay his humanity) and he would be very upset when I died. I had to at least give him some time to prepare himself.

But I didn't want to tell him too soon. I wanted to enjoy the normalcy for once. So I decided that when the time was right, I would tell him.

Glad that I finally came to a decision, I ate dinner and told my father what happened at Port Angeles. He was much less anxious that my mother was about Alice spending so much money on me. In fact, he laughed.

"Don't worry about it, Renee," he chuckled. "The Cullens and Hales do have a lot of money, so they weren't too inconvenienced."

"It's still not proper manners," Mom sniffed. "We should at least offer to pay them half."

"We should," he agreed. "There's no doubt that they would refuse, but it's good to at least offer."

I grinned. My father had a better grasp of Cullen etiquette than my mother did.

True to her promise, Alice dropped by at around seven that evening.

"Oh, you must be Alice!" my mother cried enthusiastically when she opened the door. "We've heard so much about you, dear! Come in, come in!"

"Thank you, Mrs. Swan," Alice chirped. "And thank you for letting me come in so late and on such late notice."

"Oh, it was no trouble!" Mom beamed. "Any friend of Bella's is welcome in our home. Would you like something to eat?"

"Oh, no that's alright," she said very politely. "I ate before I left."

"Hello, Alice," my dad introduced himself before my mother began insisting on food. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's very nice to meet you too, Mr. Swan." I saw as her gaze flickered to the television. "Oh, you're watching the Blaze game? I don't think they stand much of a chance against the Mavericks. They're the number one team in the league right now."

My father's eyes lit up at the mention of the basketball game. "Yeah, I don't think they'll win either. I'm not really much of a fan either, I've just been watching their progress since the season started."

"Yeah. My family thinks that the Spurs are going to win the title again, but Jasper and I swear up and down that this is the Mavericks' year."

Dad nodded eagerly. "Me too. Avery Johnson's got a very strong lineup this season and Terry and Nowitzki are so in synch and Josh Howard is really a superb—"

"Anyways," my mother cut across him, "Dear, I think the girls want to go upstairs. Why don't you two go on up now and just holler if you need anything."

"Will do!" I called as Alice and I raced up the stairs.

"So did you really know what you were talking about at all?" I asked her once we reached my room.

She made a face at me. "Of course I knew what I was talking about. Edward and Emmett love arguing about the NBA and the rest of us enjoy watching the games too."

I opened the door to my room and gaped when I saw about twenty bags in my room. "I took the liberty of going back and buying a few things that we missed," she declared happily as she set down the shopping bags she brought with her. "And I didn't want to overwhelm your parents because I knew they were probably feeling guilty about letting me spend so much money on you, so I just brought them back here."

"Alice," I whispered weakly as I looked out at the sea of clothes, "I didn't even try any of these on! And besides, none of these will fit in my closet!"

"Yes they will," she said. "We just have to throw out the ones you have in there now."

"I am _not_ throwing out my clothes."

She sighed. "We'll compromise, okay? I'll let you keep some of the more sentimental pieces and the ones that I approve of."

I knew it was pretty much the best offer I was going to get, so I sighed and nodded. We spent the next hour sorting through my closet and arguing over the clothes that we were going to throw out.

After a fierce argument over a sweater my mother had gotten for me after I had been diagnosed, Alice turned to me with a serious expression her face that I didn't trust at all. "So I had a very interesting vision after you left."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh?"

She nodded. "You were in a hospital bed."

I felt the color drain from my face. "Alice…"

She held up her hand. "Save it, Bella. You don't owe _me_ an explanation, but I certainly think my brother deserves one."

"I'm going to tell him," I said hurriedly. "I swear, I will. I just want to enjoy the last bit normalcy I have first. And I'm waiting for the right moment."

She sighed. "Okay. But I hope the right moment comes sooner rather than later. Edward's not going to be happy when he finds out, right moment or not."

I smiled sadly. "You're not going to tell him, are you?"

She shook her head. "No. It's not my secret to tell. Besides, I trust you. I believe you'll tell him when it's time."

"Thank you." I hesitated for a moment, then began with, "And I'd really appreciate it if you—"

"I won't tell anyone else," she finished for me. "I swear."

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks."

We continued sorting through my closet in silence.

When the task was finally finished, we began unpacking the new clothes Alice had bought for me. My jaw dropped when I reached a certain bag.

"YOU BOUGHT ME LINGERIE?" I shrieked.

"Well I knew you didn't want to buy any with Edward there and I knew it was more than he could handle watching you in thongs and such, so I just decided I'd do it myself," she said very simply, as if she had done me a favor. "Besides, I knew your size so I'm pretty sure all of it will fit.

"Alice, that's not the _point_," I whined. "You bought me lingerie without _me_ there!"

"So? Boyfriends do it for their girlfriends all the time."

"YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"What's your point? You'll look very nice in these, I promise."

I dug into the bag and pulled out a lacy monstrosity. "You don't _seriously_ expect me to wear this, do you? I don't even know how this goes!"

"Easy," she said breezily as she took the contraption from me. "Your legs go here," she indicated, "and this part just crosses your waist."

I pulled out another piece. "I can't believe you bought me _butt floss_."

The corners of her lips quirked upwards. "Oh come on, Bella. Do something wild for once! I bet you don't have a single pair of colored underwear in your drawer right now. I'm right, aren't I?"

I blushed and looked away. "That's not the point! Colored underwear I can deal with, as long as it covers me properly." I pulled out a blue bra that seemed to be made entirely out of lace. "I can't wear this!"

She smirked. "You know, my brother is very partial to that shade of blue. _Especially_ on you."

I blushed a bright red. "How do you know?" I demanded.

"He told me," she sang as she took the bra from me, folded it, and set it in my drawer.

"And what exactly makes you think that he's going to see me in _that_?"

"Oh, didn't he tell you?" she asked in mild surprise. "Vampires have x-ray vision."

I blanched and immediately threw my arms around my chest, as if it could save me from Alice's laser eyes. But she just laughed.

"I was kidding."

I flushed again and stuck my tongue out at her. "That wasn't funny."

"Au contraire, I happened to think that was _very_ funny."

I continued to sort through the lingerie she bought me, all of which was somehow lacy and made of silk and/or satin. "So…" I began, as nonchalantly as I could. "Has Edward said anything about today?"

She grinned widely at me when she realized what I was insinuating. "And why would you be interested?"

"I'm not," I said quickly. "I was just wondering."

Her grin turned into a self-satisfied smirk. "Well, Bella, you're not the only one I'm keeping secrets for. If you want to know if he's said anything about this afternoon then you have to go ask him."

I pouted. "It's just a simple yes or no question," I grumbled.

"Weeell," she began as she started folding my new underwear and putting it away in my drawers, "I suppose I could tell you that you certainly did give him a lot to think about. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he was pacing his room right now."

I grinned happily to myself as I continued with my task. I really did mean what I said to him earlier that afternoon; no matter what he decided, I still wanted to be his friend. But if the smile on Alice's face was any indication, I might just be in luck.

**A/N - OH WOW YOU GUYS! The reviews from last chapter totally blew me away! Keep it coming!**

**I have a few surprises up my sleeves for the next two chapters WHICH happen to already be finished and in editing as of right now. If you guys review, I promise I'll have chapter ten up by Sunday.**


	10. Edward: I'm in a Dancing Mood

**Edward: I'm in a Dancing Mood**

She kissed me. Bella Swan kissed me.

There was no getting out of it. The two of us were in way too deep and—without realizing it—we passed the point of no return.

I don't think we even want to go back. And that scares me.

_Think about this logically,_ my brain argued. _Are you attracted to Bella?_

Was I attracted to Bella? What kind of silly question was that, _of course_ I was attracted to Bella! I'd been attracted to her ever since I sat down in the God-forsaken Biology class. She'd been calling to me in more ways than one when I first laid eyes on her.

_Do you like her then?_ my brain asked.

I rolled my eyes at my own immaturity. I was nearly a century old and I was using preteen terms. But I had to admit, my feelings for Bella ran deeper than mere attraction. Already I was much too concerned for her well being, more than I had a right to be. I was leaping to her defense at imaginary threats and defending her honor from the ever-present, ever-annoying Mike Newton. So if all of that constituted _like_, then yes, I did _like_ her.

_Do you want her to kiss you again?_

Yes, I answered with absolutely no hesitation. The moment she pulled away, I felt a sharp stab of disappointment and a strange urge to stop her. I wanted to feel her warm lips on mine once more, I wanted her to feel her skin against mine, to warm my marble flesh…

I shuddered as I stopped my dangerous train of thought. I couldn't think like that, otherwise more…primal urges might take over.

But none of these answered the bigger question: should I start a relationship with her? Was it fair of me to do so?

Her selflessness never ceased to amaze me. She told me that whatever I decided, she would go along with. She gave _me_ the decision. She trusted me. I felt so grateful, so overwhelmed by her consideration and kindness that it made me all the more attracted to her.

I didn't deserve her that much was certain. She was too good for me—she was too selfless, to giving. She was too beautiful and too human for a monster like me. I couldn't impose on her generosity to feed my own insatiable selfishness.

_But is it selfishness?_ my brain asked. _Is it selfishness when she told you that she wants the same thing?_

She deserves more than me, I argued. She deserves someone human, someone like _Mike Newton_ (I mentally growled the name) who can give her the chance at a proper human life. She should be with someone who doesn't endanger her very existence.

_But she doesn't want Mike Newton. She wants you_.

And I still have no idea why.

"You know, if you keep going like that you're going to wear a whole in the carpet," a voice said from the doorway.

I looked up and saw Jasper watching me with a mixture of concern and amusement. "I could feel your confusion and frustration a mile away."

"Sorry," I muttered as I collapsed onto my couch.

"What's going on?" he asked as he joined me.

Knowing that Jasper was the one person in this house would most understand what I was going through, I told him everything: about how I felt, what Bella told me, and about the kiss. When I was finished, he told me, "Edward, you say that she deserves everything she wants, correct?"

I nodded.

"Well she wants you. And if you're going to be consistent, I think that you should go for it. I don't know what she did, but she's obviously the best thing that's ever happened to you. I haven't seen you so happy since…well, since ever."

"But will I make her happy?" I asked anxiously. "I don't want to be concerned with just my happiness. Hers is important too."

"Well if you're telling the truth, it sounds like she's having a great time with you, so I think that she's pretty happy whenever you're around."

My heart lightened, but sank again. "I still don't know, Jasper…will I be enough? What if she could do so much better than me?"

This time, he smirked. "Okay, Edward. Look at it this way: would you rather Bella be kissing Mike Newton or you?"

The involuntary growl that erupted from my throat said it all.

The next day was a Sunday, one in which I spent figuring out what I was going to tell Bella later that night. I finally made my decision after much thought the day before.

When it was finally dark, I crept out of the house and made my way to Bella's. I kept running the speech over and over in my mind, making sure that I had it down in my head. I wanted it to be perfect.

But when I climbed into the tree and peered into Bella's bedroom, my breath stopped at the sight of her.

By the looks of it, it seemed like she was changing her clothes, but the sight of her half naked body was enough to send my stone-cold heart into overdrive. I felt distinctly disgusted with myself as I watched her prance about her room in her underwear, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away from her slender figure. Or her lacy blue bra.

But something caught my eye. As she turned around, I saw several large purple bruises on her back and on her legs. My mind immediately began racing to several different conclusions on how she could have gotten them. Her mother wasn't the type to beat her and Charlie Swan was the most chivalrous sheriff the town ever had. And besides, it couldn't have been her parents; she spoke too kindly of them.

What if it was that detestable Mike Newton? I growled at the thought. If I ever found out that that jerk laid a hand on her, I'd—

When she pulled on her pajamas, I leapt out of the tree and through her window.

"Bella." All thoughts of my speech flew out the window.

She whipped her head around and grinned at me. "Edward. How are you?"

Without a word, I gently turned her around and lifted the back of her shirt. "Where did you get these?" I asked her as I gently ran my fingers over her bruises. I felt her shiver at my touch.

"What are those?" she asked, craning her neck to see over her shoulder.

I frowned at her. "Your entire back seems to be made up of bruises."

She laughed. "Oh. I have really sensitive skin, Edward. It's probably from taking all those naps in the forest during P.E. And the springs in my mattress are starting to stick into my back. Feel," she told me as she walked to her bed and ran her hands over the mattress.

I ran my hand over the mattress and sure enough, the worn and tired mattress was already beginning to give way to the springs underneath the thin top layer. Slightly more relieved that she wasn't in any immediate danger, I told her, "You need to get a new mattress, and a thicker blanket to sleep on. It's not safe for your back."

She shook her head and smiled. "I honestly don't mind, Edward."

I still wasn't convinced. "I'll order a new mattress for you right away. Are you allergic to goose feathers? What about down? I'll ask Esme what the best comforters are. And maybe softer sheets? I don't like the look of the linen you're sleeping on now. And—"

"Edward," she said soothingly as she stepped forward and placed her hand on my upper arm. "I told you, I really don't mind. I'll be fine, I promise." Then she stood on tiptoe to kiss me on the cheek. "But I really appreciate your concern."

That tiny little kiss triggered my memory and reminded me of what I was going to tell her, but all words failed me. All I could think was to kiss her, and this time give her a proper kiss. So I gently hooked a finger underneath her chin and lifted her face upwards. Then I bent forward to press my lips against her.

I thought that the closer contact would strain every vampiric impulse in me. I thought I would have to hold my breath to keep from going overboard. But I didn't have to; in fact, Bella's lips seemed to have the opposite effect on me. Their softness lit a fire within me that warmed me from the inside out. The way her lips felt against mine sent shivers all across my marble flesh. Every tiny sensation, every small shift of her lips bade me to wrap my arms around her and never let go.

Surprisingly, Bella was the one that ended the kiss. Her eyes were bright with happiness and excitement and her cheeks were flushed. "Does this mean what I think it does?"

I nodded. "Only if you want it to."

Those enchanting lips of hers spread across her face in the broadest smile I had ever seen. "I definitely want it to, Edward. I definitely want it to." And without another word, her arms found their way around my neck and she brought her face against mine once again.

* * *

"Edward, where are you taking me?" Bella demanded impatiently. She had been blindfolded for the past half hour and growing steadily more disgruntled. 

"Be patient," I chided her as I enjoyed the moment. I got to see her before we left the house and Alice did a fantastic job on her. Bella was wearing a pale blue, Chantilly lace dress Alice had found in a vintage shop a few days ago and cherished every idea of the forties; the A-line skirt reached mid-calf and the neckline was a sweetheart neckline that accentuated and exaggerated her bust. Then, Alice styled her hair using the traditional cross-pin method; the result was a structured hairstyle of shiny brown curls that cascaded over her shoulders. The finishing touches were bright red fingernail polish and black suede heels with straps that crossed over and kept the shoe on her foot.

Needless to say, she looked amazing.

Finally, I pulled into the parking lot and turned the ignition off. "We're here," I announced. "You can take your blindfold off now."

"Finally," she muttered as she ripped the thing off her eyes. Once her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, she registered the plain brick building in front of her. "Where are we?" she asked.

I laughed. "Come on. You'll see when you get inside."

She glanced over at me and her jaw dropped. "Wow," she breathed, "you look amazing."

I grinned at her. I had donned a black shirt, a pair of black trousers with a thin white tie and white suspenders. I also had a black double breasted jacket and a pair of black and white saddle oxfords. The crowning finish, however, was the black fedora with a red feather tucked into the side. "Why thank you," I told her graciously. "I'm nothing compared to you, though."

"Why are we dressed like this?" she asked as she looked down at our outfits.

My smile grew wider. "You'll see." The next moment, I got out of the car and helped her out of her seat. "It's a bit of a surprise."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh really? The blindfold wasn't any indication."

I made a face at her. "Hurry up. And try not to trip in your shoes."

She stuck her tongue out at me.

I led her chivalrously into the mysterious establishment, through a foyer and two more doors. When we finally entered the main room, Bella's jaw dropped.

The room we had just entered was a restaurant with a dance floor in the center and a live band at the front of the house. But that wasn't the most remarkable thing; what was truly amazing was that all the patrons were dressed in the style of the forties, a time where the elegance was understated and the music was infinitely better.

"This place is amazing…" she whispered as she saw a couple of swing dancers enthusiastically moving in the lindy style.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her.

Her stomach growled. She blushed and nodded daintily while I led her to a table near the dance floor so she could watch everyone else.

"Good evenin'," greeted one of the waiters in a slick, smooth talking accent the moment we took a seat. "Welcome to the Lollipop Lounge. My name is Charles and I'll be your waiter tonight. To start off, what would you cats like to drink?"

I looked at Bella and she nodded. "Two waters, please," I told him.

He turned his attention to Bella and grinned cheekily at her. "Aw, come on doll. A zazz gal like you's gotta be a little wilder than some water."

I let out a low growl, but she cut me off. "Water's fine, thanks," she said before shooting me one of the most discreet warning looks in the world.

Looking a bit disappointed, he walked away. _The good ones always gotta come with someone. Maybe I can take my break when she hits the dance floor_.

_Over my dead body,_ I thought back.

"Oh wow," Bella whispered in awe as she watched a couple start flipping each other around to the fast pace of the music. "I'm definitely not coordinated enough to do that."

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "I'm only going to teach you the basics tonight. Then maybe with a little more practice, you'll be jivin' with the best of 'em."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she giggled. "Wow, Edward. I've never heard you speak like that."

I waggled my eyebrows. "Well then come on, doll. There's a spot on the dance floor that's callin' our name." I got up and offered her my hand. She smiled brilliantly, a smile that made her by far the loveliest girl in the room.

"Okay," I instructed her when we made our way to the dance floor, "you put your left hand on my shoulder," she did so, "and your right hand goes in mine, like this." I wrapped my fingers around Bella's small hand and relished in the feel of her warmth. "Now, I'm going to start on my left foot and you'll start on your right. Move your right foot to the right, then your left foot to the left, and then you rock back a bit on your right foot. Like this, watch me." I did it a few times as she watched me.

"Okay," she said with strong determination, as if there was no way she was going to get this wrong. She took the position and after a few mistakes, she finally eased into the basic swing step.

"Now I'm going to start rotating," I told her. "You just keep doing the same steps and follow my lead, okay?" She nodded and I began to rotate. It took her a while and she stepped on my feet a couple of times after which she apologized profusely and I had to remind her that I couldn't feel it anyway. Soon enough I was spinning her out and around and she looked like she was having the time of her life.

"Thank you for bringing me out here," she told me when "Chattanooga Choo Choo" came to an end. Her smile threatened to spill off her face, it was so wide. "This is absolutely amazing. And now I know how to swing dance!"

I kissed her on the forehead. "Anything for you, Bella. Anything for you."

**A/N - So I promised I'd have this up by Sunday...and so I do. **

**Alright, so here's the deal: the title of the chapter is actually a song. Anyone who can tell me who performed and recorded it gets to ask one question (whatever they want) and I will answer it. There's only one question I'm not answering though, and it's whether or not Bella will "survive" (I use that term loosely). I'm looking for a very specific name, mind you, so be sure you get it right otherwise I won't answer your question.**

**So go ahead and get reviewing! Oh, and be sure to check my writer's blog (listed as my website on my profile) for an explanation of this chapter.**


	11. Bella: Panic

**Bella: Panic**

I threw my pencil down in frustration for the tenth time that evening. I just couldn't concentrate; not when I knew that Edward was coming in a few more moments.

Edward's nighttime visits never ceased when we started going out. The only thing that changed was the fact that he stayed the night instead of just going home after I went to bed. I can't say I minded. In fact, I was absolutely thrilled and loved waking up in his arms every morning.

I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly before picking up my pencil and starting up on my trigonometry homework once again. I only had one more problem and I knew that the moment Edward climbed through my window I definitely wouldn't finish.

The faint scent of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon greeted my nostrils and I panicked. He was almost through the window and I wasn't finished with my homework!

Lemons and lilies…

Okay, so one over secant is the same as cosine…

…caramel and melting butter…

…and then you can just cancel out the sine. Which leaves me with…

…peppermint and fabric softener…

"Tangent over cosine!" I shouted as I leapt up and threw my pencil down in triumph. "I finished my homework, I finished my homework!"

"Congratulations," Edward said, his voice dripping in amusement. "Just in time too."

I turned to him and grinned. "I know. I was worried there for a moment. But I beat you, so there." I stuck my tongue out at him for good measure.

He smirked back. "Actually, you didn't. I was sitting out in the tree, waiting for you to finish."

My jaw dropped. "How long were you in there?"

His smirk widened. "_Moooooon River! Wiiiiider than a miiiile…_"

I gasped. "You heard that? I can't believe you!"

"Don't worry. You were very good."

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. "That wasn't very nice."

His smirk melted into a grin as he pulled me close to him and planted a firm kiss on my lips. "Is that better?"

I rolled my eyes. "You think a lot of yourself."

His smile grew and he kissed me again, this time with a slight gentleness to it. I kissed back willingly, letting myself get lost in the sensations his touch triggered within me. He pulled away after a few more moments and gazed at me with a strange intensity in his ocher eyes. "What about now?"

"Consider yourself forgiven," I breathed. My voice never seemed to work properly after Edward kissed me.

"Good," he said with a smile. "That means I can finally ask what I meant to when I first got here."

"Oh?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"I was going to ask if we could reschedule our date this Saturday. I can't take you into Port Angeles because Alice said it's going to be sunny this weekend."

"Oh," I said in disappointment. I had been really looking forward to this weekend too. "That's cool."

He smiled as if he knew something I didn't. "But I did promise you that I would show you what happens when I'm out in the sun."

My disappointment left me when I realized what he meant by that statement. "You did. You did promise."

"So I think that this weekend would be the perfect opportunity."

I grinned when I realized that I wouldn't have to cancel our date after all. "Then where are you going to take me?"

"Some place special," was all he said. I pouted, but contented myself with the answer.

I put away my homework and rushed off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When my teeth were brushed, my face washed, and my feet be-slippered, I ran down to the living room where my parents were watching TV, hardly able to contain my excitement. "Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad. I'm going to bed now."

My mother looked up from her cross-stitching and smiled at me. "Good night honey. Sweet dreams." My father repeated her sentiments and I hurriedly kissed them both on the cheek before racing back up the stairs, eager to get back to Edward. I found him sitting on my bed, as usual, waiting patiently for my return.

"I'm sorry for taking so long," I said as I sat down next to him on the bed.

"I didn't mind," he said as he wrapped his arms around me. Then he lifted the back of my shirt to see the bruises on my back. It had become a nightly ritual; he would assess the damage wreaked on my skin, beg and plead with me to stop taking naps in the forest and to get a new mattress and I would always refuse, telling him that I was fine and I hardly felt the bruising anymore.

"You really should get a new mattress, you know," he said with a frown after he was finished examining the wounds.

I shook my head. "I've told you before, I'm fine."

He still didn't look convinced, so I lay down and tucked myself in underneath my favorite blue comforter. He lay down next to me so that we were face to face, only several inches apart. "How was your evening?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Uneventful. Rosalie continued to berate me and after a while, Emmett had to pull her off."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you call that uneventful?"

"It's been happening for the past week. How was your evening?"

"My father found a stray dog on the side of the street when he was driving home," I told him as I remembered the sweet, sad look in his eyes. "We tried to nurse it to health, but he was too wounded. He had this huge gash in the side of his stomach. We think he got hit by a car."

"What happened to him?"

"He died a few hours after we tried to take care of him. Dad dug a grave in the backyard and we buried him. It was so sad." He had bright green eyes that seemed so tragic, so wounded that it broke my heart. "I wish we could have done more for him."

Edward wrapped his arms around my body and hugged me close to him. "I'm sure you did all that you could."

I sighed into his chest and nodded. "I suppose. It just feels sort of ominous, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

Oh crap. "Like something bad is going to happen," I said. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

He chuckled. "Have you been reading the horoscopes again?"

I snuggled into his marble comfort and closed my eyes. "No. I'm just tired."

I felt his smooth, cold lips press against my hair. "Go to sleep, then. I'll be here in the morning."

I sighed in contentment. "Thank you, Edward," I told him sleepily as sleep began to drift over me, weighing down my limbs and numbing my brain. "Good night."

"Good night, Bella," I heard his distant, soft voice whisper to me. "I love you."

But by then I was too far away to acknowledge anything.

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

Edward's lips quirked upward. "Not yet."

I pursed my lips in impatience and glared out the window. Five minutes later, I asked, "What about now?"

"You'll know when we get there," he said. "In the meantime, just sit back and try to relax."

"I can't relax," I whined. "You're driving too fast and we still seem to be getting nowhere. And you won't tell me where we're going in the first place."

I saw him roll his eyes. "If it makes you feel better, I'll let you drive on the way home."

This thought cheered me and occupied my thoughts for the rest of the drive. After twenty more minutes of driving, he finally came to a stop at the edge of a forest. I stuck my head out the window and peered into the shadowed depths of the dark green branches. "There's no sun here," I accused.

"We'll have to hike a bit," he told me as he helped me out of the car. He took one look at my horrified expression and laughed. "Don't worry, I'll help you. You'll be fine."

I still wasn't too convinced, but I really did want to see what sunlight did to Edward. So I followed him into the forest, taking care not to trip or fall over the brambles in my path.

We hiked in silence for a little while. Then he broke the silence and said, "Esme and Carlisle have been a little impatient to meet you. Every since I told you about us, they've been wanting to welcome you into the family."

I audibly gulped. "Y-your family?" I stammered. "You want me to meet your family?"

He chuckled. "I believe that was the implication."

I thought back to Rosalie's haughty glare whenever she saw me in school. "What—what if they don't like me?"

"Don't worry," he reassured me. "They'll love you. Rosalie's the only one who doesn't…well, she's not happy about the arrangement, but she'll be on her best behavior when you come to visit."

I was still a little unsure, so he took my hand and held it in his larger one. I loved the way his long, cold fingers wrapped around mine. "You'll be fine. I swear."

I reluctantly nodded. It was only fair, right? Edward had already met my family, so I might as well meet his. That's what people in relationships did, right? They met each other's families.

Fifteen minutes of hiking later, we finally made it through the forest and into the most beautiful meadow I had ever seen in my life. The sunlight was shining brightly overhead, and the bits of dew were glowing on the green grass and on the jewel bright flowers. The entire place didn't seem real—it was a million times more beautiful than my little clearing could ever be.

"Wow…" I whispered as I slowly stepped into the glittering meadow. Without even thinking, I ran out into the middle of it and collapsed into grass. I immediately knew that this was paradise.

I gloried in the warmth of the sunshine on my skin and the fresh feel of the dewy grass under my fingertips. I closed my eyes and listened the nearby birds chirping in the sky and relished the feel of the gentle breeze playing on my face. This was wonderful. The only thing that could make it absolutely perfect was…

I frowned when I realized that Edward wasn't lying next to me. I sat up and whipped my head around. "Edward?" I called.

I turned my head and saw him in the shadows of the trees, a little wary and slightly apprehensive. I stood up and waited patiently for him to step forward. And then he did.

I gasped as I watched the sunlight hit his cold white skin—except his skin was no longer white. He was glittering and sparkling like a diamond.

I tentatively reached out. "May I?" I whispered. He nodded and I touched his shining face, delighting in the feel of his smooth, marble skin underneath my fingertips. I couldn't believe that he was here with me, that someone so beautiful and so perfect would be spending the day with me.

Then, without thinking it through properly, I leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed gently back. I think the sun must have done something to the kiss as well; it was lighter, gleaming and beautiful. I couldn't let him go.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered when we finally pulled away. "I think I knew since I met you. Even if I recoiled at first, I think I was meant to love you."

My heart swelled and my throat closed with emotion. He loved me. He loved _me_. The most beautiful, the most perfect creature in the world loved me. And I knew with all my heart that I loved him. "I love you too," I whispered. "I love you so much."

* * *

"Bella?" Edward asked worriedly. "Are you okay?" 

"I've got a bit of a headache," I admitted. But it certainly wasn't just a bit of a headache. It was a full on migraine; it felt as if my brain was spinning and sloshing around in my cranium. At times it felt as if my skull would split in two. But this wasn't the first time—I knew what to do when this happened.

"I'll be fine," I told him as I pulled myself out of my bed. "I'm just going to go downstairs and get me an aspirin."

Dad was already at work and Mom was out doing errands. It was a Monday morning and they were used to the fact that Edward was taking me to school daily. I smiled to myself, despite my horrible, throbbing headache; I was going to school with my boyfriend. I felt so normal.

I ate a banana before swallowing an aspirin. Edward followed me into the kitchen and smiled at me a little apprehensively. "Do you feel better?"

I knew better than to move my head; that would just make it worse. "I will," I promised. "I'm going to go and get ready for school."

He nodded and kissed me on the forehead before walking out of the house. While I was getting ready for school, he would go back to his home to get the Volvo so he would already be waiting for me when I was finished.

I felt the headache intensify as I climbed, the stairs, but I did my best to ignore it. I just had to wait for the medicine to kick in. When I was done getting dressed, I met Edward outside the door. We made small chit chat on the drive to school, while the throbbing got worse and worse. I could feel the blood rushing from my face and the cold sweat on my skin.

"Bella, are you sure you're okay?" he asked again as we walked up to the school.

"Edward," I whispered as the panicking feeling of weakness washed over me. I knew I was going to collapse, but I couldn't. Not in front of him. Not now. "I think—"

The last thing I heard before I succumbed to the darkness was Edward's panicked voice, calling my name.

**A/N - DUN DUN DUN! Ahh, I hate to leave you guys on such a cliffie, but it must be done. If you guys review I'll be sure to get on chapter twelve really fast! I promise!**

**...oh, and just so you guys know, "I'm in a Dancing Mood" was performed and recorded by Dave Brubeck.**


	12. Edward: Revelation

**Edward: Revelation**

_If you pace any faster, no one will be able to see your legs,_ Alice thought to me. _She's not going to wake up if you just keep walking. Sit down and breathe_.

I ignored her. I had to be doing something. If I sat down then all the pent up worry and frustration would cause me to do something physically far worse than pacing. So I contented myself to pace.

My mind was speeding a million miles a minute. What was going on? Why had she fainted? Was she seriously ill?

_She couldn't be seriously ill!_ I thought to myself indignantly. She was seventeen and perfect. There was no way in the world she could possibly be ill. She was too young.

"Edward!"

I turned and saw Mrs. Swan rushing towards me to give me a hug. I reciprocated it with stiff arms. Mr. Swan was looking at me anxiously. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"She fainted this morning after we got to school," I informed them quietly, trying to keep the trembling in my tone to a minimum. "I took her straight to my father."

I frowned when neither of them looked surprised. They only looked worried.

"Where is she right now?"

"Carlisle is running tests," I told them. "He wants to know why she fainted."

"Can we speak with him really quickly?" Mr. Swan said hurriedly. "We need to talk about a few things first."

I frowned, confused. "If this is about the cost—"

"It's not about that," Mrs. Swan said hurriedly. "We just really need to speak with him."

I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to know what was going on. And besides, I wasn't breaking my promise to Bella. This counted as an emergency. I opened the closed door to her parents' thoughts.

_Dr. Cullen has to know that Bella has leukemia,_ Mrs. Swan thought nervously.

I felt as if the ground had fallen away beneath me.

Bella had leukemia. She had _cancer_.

No.

I let out a primal growl and fled the hospital. This couldn't happen. She couldn't have leukemia. She was too beautiful, too perfect. I gave way to my desperation, my disbelief and denial and ran as a fast as my legs could carry me.

When I finally stopped, I found myself in a quiet, silent forest that was startled by my sudden presence. I lashed out, trying to vent out my anger on any hapless animal that happened upon my path. I drank from anything and everything that came out at me. It was the only thing that could keep me from dissolving into the nothingness that threatened to overwhelm me.

I was in this state for a few hours until Jasper appeared out of nowhere and slammed me against a tree. _Stop,_ he commanded. _Get a hold of yourself._

I growled at him and attacked. He didn't stop me; in fact, it seemed as if he welcomed it. I took it as an invitation to fight.

I charged at him, but he stepped aside nimbly. I rounded on him, but he was prepared. He ducked under my charge, grabbed me around my middle and threw me onto the ground. Before I could get back up, he clenched his hand around my throat. I tried to get up, but he pushed the rest of my body down. I could have easily thrown him off me, but I didn't. I let my body go limp with disappointment and defeat.

_Now will you calm down?_ he asked.

I sighed and nodded. When he was sure that I would remain composed, he let me up. _She wants to see you,_ he told me.

I swallowed the venom that rose in my mouth. If I was capable of tears, I was sure I would have cried right then. But I couldn't. Instead, I contented myself to nod and followed him back to the hospital.

Alice greeted me at the entrance. _Mrs. Swan just told Carlisle about Bella,_ she thought to me as she patted me reassuringly on my shoulder. _She wants to talk to you_.

I nodded and picked my way through the voices in my head to find Carlisle. I followed the tenor of his thoughts and found him comforting Mr. and Mrs. Swan right outside Bella's room. When they saw me, her parents smiled sadly, thanked Carlisle, and went inside the room to speak to their daughter. Carlisle turned to me with a look that brought any amount of hope I might have had crashing down into the earth.

"How bad?" I whispered.

He mentally sighed. _Advanced AML,_ he told me. _Her parents said that she stopped responding to treatments, and they took her off chemo six months ago. They wanted to go for a bone marrow transplant, but they couldn't find a suitable match. Then Bella just made the decision to just let go._

I unstuck my throat. "She can't give up," I said in a shaking voice. "She can't."

Carlisle sighed. _It's too late now. She's got six weeks left. At best._

"No!" I shouted. "She can't die! She will not die!"

Then, without another word, I rushed into her hospital room. My stone cold heart broke when I saw her lying in that hospital bed, pale and in pain, speaking with her parents. Her lips curled upward, but very tentatively when she saw me standing in the doorway, waiting for her to finish.

"Mom? Dad? Can I have some time with Edward alone, please?"

They nodded and her mother swept her hair away from her forehead before planting a kiss on it. "Of course. We'll be in the waiting room if you need us, okay? I love you sweetie."

"I love you too," she whispered.

When her parents were out of the room, she turned her soft, pale face to me. Apprehension was written in her chocolate brown eyes. "I didn't want you to find out like this," she told me sadly.

The desperation in her voice triggered it. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to at all. But her words started an avalanche of anger, of emotions that I had trouble dealing with. "Then how _did_ you mean for me to find out?" I shouted. "If you weren't planning on fainting, then how was I supposed to find out?"

Tears began to well up in the bottom of her eyes. "I was going to tell you, I swear! I really was! I was just waiting for the right time, but it never came!"

"The right time?" incredulity stained my cold voice. "There's never a right time to someone that you're _dying_!"

"I'm sorry!" she wept. "I'm so sorry! I should have told you sooner! Please don't be upset with me! I couldn't stand it if you were angry with me!"

The faint note of panic in her tones calmed me down, and I felt so ashamed for losing my temper at her when she didn't deserve it. She was the last person to deserve any of this. In no time at all, I was at her bedside, gently gripping her pale, anemic hand. "I'm not angry with you," I said in what I hoped was a soothing voice. "I could never be angry with you. You're too perfect—too beautiful."

She didn't stop crying. The tears were still streaming down her face, so I reached up and gently wiped them away. "I meant to tell you, I really did. I wanted you to know, but I didn't know how to bring it up."

"I know," I whispered and I kissed the bit of flesh right underneath her eyes. I was faintly aware of the wet tears on my lips. "I know you did. I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have."

"But I deserve it!" she wept. Her voice was unsteady and her she was shuddering whenever she took in a breath. "I should have told you, you deserved to be upset! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…"

"Shh," I whispered. Very gently, so as not to disturb her, I climbed into the bed with her and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. "I'm not upset with you. I never should have yelled at you." I kissed her hair and rubbed her arms reassuringly. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

It took her a while, but she finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep. I gently stroked her hair so she wouldn't wake up, finally giving into the thoughts that I threw onto the backburner.

Bella was dying. My Bella, my perfect, beautiful, sweet and innocent Bella was dying.

_No,_ I thought firmly to myself. _She is _not_ going to die. Carlisle will find a way to save her. I will find a way to save her._

She wasn't going to die.

Bella slept for a few more hours, obviously plagued by nightmares. The tears continued to stream down her face and she kept whimpering. I heard her murmur my name several times, always followed by pleas of forgiveness. I sighed softly, disgusted with myself. I never should have lost my temper around her. There were just so many strange emotions that I had never felt before, or that I had not felt in such a very long time. I couldn't deal with that rush, so I took it out on her. And I never should have.

After a while, Alice danced into the room. _How are you feeling?_ she asked.

I shrugged as gently as I could without waking Bella. "I'm not sure," I told her. "Jasper could tell you best, I think."

She nodded.

We didn't say anything for a while. Alice kept watching Bella, running through possible ideas that might help her for comfort, thinking of things that she needed to do before…well, before she passed away. But why wasn't she shocked, upset, angry? Why wasn't she indignant?

Then it hit me.

"You knew," I accused.

She didn't need clarification. Instead, she sighed and nodded reluctantly. "Yes, I knew."

I growled. "Then why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. "You saw this happening to her. You didn't think to tell me? You didn't think that I deserved to know?"

She flashed me a look of anger and warning. "Don't be silly, Edward," she said coldly. "Of course you deserved to know. But you didn't deserve to know from me. It wasn't my secret to tell."

A memory of a secret conversation flashed through her mind and I watched in sadness as Bella promised my sister that she would tell me of her condition. "I'm sorry for accusing you," I told her after the memory played out. "You didn't deserve it."

She nodded. "I know." Then she got to her feet and made her way to the door. "I'm going to speak with her parents. Try and see if there's anything I can do. She'll be waking up soon, so that would be a good time to talk."

I thanked her and watched as she left the room. Sure enough, not two minutes after Alice made her exit, Bella began to stir. She looked a little confused for a moment as she struggled to shake away the remaining cobwebs of sleep. "Edward?" she rasped when she realized my arms were still surrounding her.

"Mmm?" I asked as I planted a kiss against her neck.

"Are you still upset with me?" she asked as she turned in my arms to face me. Her eyes were so worried as they searched my face for any sign of anger.

I sighed and shook my head. "No, Bella. Not with you."

Her hands found their way to my face and she stared me down so thoroughly, so deeply that I found myself holding my breath. "Edward, I'm so sorry for not telling you. You deserve to know and I didn't tell you. And I hate myself for putting you through this."

"Shh," I said soothingly. "Don't worry about me right now. Just focus on getting better. This hospital isn't the best place for me to stay with you right now."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she cried when she realized what I meant. "You don't have to stay with me if this is bad for you! You can leave if you want."

I sighed and shook my head. "Bella, you can be so ridiculous sometimes," I murmured as I held her tighter. "I'm not going anywhere until you're well enough to leave."

"But—"

"No buts," I said firmly. "I'm not leaving you, and nothing's going to change my mind. Okay?"

Reluctantly, she nodded and snuggled closer to me. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bella," I said into her hair. "You are my everything."

We remained silent for a while, lost in our own thoughts and content to be near each other. Then she giggled.

"What?" I asked, bewildered. "What's so funny?"

"It's…it's just…" she said between her laughter, "you said that my blood smells the most attractive to you of anyone else's, right?"

I nodded, still unable to see the joke.

"It's just kinda funny that my blood smells the best to you when I have blood cancer," she said, loosing herself in her giggles.

I chuckled when I realized what she meant. "I suppose when you look at it like that, it is a bit humorous…"

She laughed again. "I wonder if my blood would still be as tempting to you if I didn't have leukemia."

"Hmm," I murmured. "It's an interesting thought."

When our laughter faded away, we lapsed back into our silence. This one lasted a little longer and I felt once again that longing, that frustration at not being able to hear her thoughts.

Finally, she voiced what she was thinking. "You talked to Carlisle, didn't you?" After I nodded, she took a deep breath. "How much longer do I have?"

I felt my muscles stiffen. I hadn't expected her to ask that question so soon and so objectively. And I didn't want to be the one to tell her. But I knew I had to.

"Six weeks," I murmured.

I expected her face to crumple in sadness, in complete and utter despair. Instead, she just took in a deep breath and composed her face into a careful smile. "Then it will be the best six weeks of my life," she said with a sweet, optimistic determination that broke my heart all over again.

But I didn't say anything. Instead I tightened my hold around her and vowed silently to myself to find a way to save her. _She's not going to die,_ I promised myself. _I'll never let her die._

**A/N - Okay! Setting up some conflict, aren't you guys excited? I know I am!**

**You know the deal. Hit the little blue button and make my day!**


	13. Bella: Dealing with it

**Bella: Dealing with it**

"Edward," I sighed in exasperation, "I can walk, you know."

"I know," he said lightly, "but I want to keep you off your feet unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't want you go get tired too quickly."

"This is ridiculous!" I cried. "This is the reason I didn't tell you in the first place. I _knew_ that you were going to baby me for my own protection. For the last time, Edward, I'm _fine_."

"Bella," he frowned, "you just got out of the hospital. I don't think you should be exerting so much energy—"

"Edward, it's _walking_. That's not too much energy, sick people do it all the time!"

He turned his golden eyes towards me and I felt my anger and resolve wash away when I gazed into their depths. "But I like carrying you," he whispered in a tone that was far too sexy for his own good. "Please?"

I tried to hold onto what little dignity my exasperation and reluctance could provide and rolled my eyes as I nodded. "But this is the last time you are carrying me while my legs are fully functioning. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with that special crooked grin of his. Damn him and his ability to dazzle me. I tried to pout as he carried me out to his car, but I had to admit that him cradling me in his arms wasn't a bad feeling. In fact, it was kind of nice. I felt safe, cuddled against his well muscled chest.

He deposited me safely in his car and made sure I was strapped in before striding to his side of the car, and to my great surprise, he slowed down to a sluggish eighty miles per hour.

"Edward Cullen only breaking the speed limit by thirty miles?" I brought my hand over my dropped jaw in mock surprise. "Where are the flying pigs?"

He made a face at me. "I'm not taking any chances with you, Bella. I want you to be as safe as I can make you."

"Well, I certainly can't object when it comes to the car speed," I said as I settled deeper into the supple leather of his car seats. "Feel free to take it down a few miles more," I told him as my eyelids slipped closed. I could almost see the graceful grimace on his beautiful face.

"I believe eighty is a good enough compromise," he said in his velvety voice.

I sighed with my eyes still closed. Take what you could get, I guess.

In a very short amount of time, we had reached my home. Luckily, Edward let me get out of the car on my own perfectly functional legs this time, but led me up the stairs by my elbow, just to make sure. Mom and Dad were already there, watching sadly as Edward led me up the porch steps. "How are you feeling, sweetie?" Mom asked anxiously when I reached her.

"I'm fine," I told her. "Just a little tired."

They nodded. "We made your bed and your room's clean," she told me. "Just in case you want to take a nap."

"Hey, Mom? Dad?" I began tentatively. I was a little nervous about asking this of them, but I really, _really_ wanted this. "Is it okay if Edward takes me to a concert in Seattle tonight?"

Predictably they both frowned. "A concert? What kind of concert?" my father asked.

I pulled at the end of my long sleeved shirt nervously. "A rock concert," I mumbled. "I know that it sounds iffy and you're worried for me and you think I'll be in danger, but Edward will be with me," I managed to blurt out in a rush. "And I really want this. I've wanted to go to a rock concert ever since I knew about rock music. Please?"

I could tell my parents were absolutely torn between letting me get what I wanted and keeping me alive a little while longer. "It's in Seattle?" Mom asked skeptically. "I don't know sweetie…"

"Please?" I begged. "Edward will make sure I'm safe."

"You don't have to worry about a thing, Mr. and Mrs. Swan," he reassured them in that velvety smooth voice of his. It managed to wipe a good deal of their anxiety away from their face and I inwardly rejoiced at my boyfriend's considerable dazzling skills. "She'll be very safe with Alice, Emmett and myself."

"Your siblings are going?" my father asked. "Emmett too?"

Edward smiled. "Yes. Emmett's coming too."

I knew they were still worried, but for the most part they knew I would be safe if Emmett was going to come, and I didn't blame them for feeling a little relieved; the concern on the behalf of a tiny anemic girl would for the most part be washed away when they realized that this girl would be protected by someone as large as Emmett Cullen.

"When's the concert?" Mom asked.

"Eight," I answered. "We were planning on leaving a bit early though, so we could catch some dinner before the show."

"Oh," my mother said with a sad expression when she realized that she was being deprived of being able to cook for someone. "Are you sure? I could whip something up real quick—"

"It's okay, Mom," I reassured her. I stepped forward and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm sure I'll be hungry when I get home anyways." Then walked past them, pulling Edward into the house with me. "I'm just going to change really quickly and then we're going to leave."

Once we were safely inside my room, Edward crossed the small floor space and wrapped me in his arms. "We don't have to go tonight, you know," he said with a small frown on his beautifully pale face. "I know you like Damone. They're coming to Seattle in two weeks."

"I know," I said lightly as I snuggled into Edward's embrace. "But I like Paramore better."

"Still," he insisted. "I don't think a rock concert's the safest thing for you right now."

I frowned. "Edward Anthony Cullen, are you going back on your promise?"

"No. I'm just trying to get you to reconsider."

I went up on my toes so I could kiss the tip of his nose. "Well I'm not going to. Please? I really want to experience this before I die."

He frowned that same disapproving expression whenever talk of my death came up in conversation. "You're not going to die," he told me firmly.

I sighed inwardly. I knew Edward was still going through his stages of grief; according to Alice, his denial was swiftly passing and his anger was intense. There were several trees in the forest a bit south of Forks that had been uprooted because of him. He was now at the bargaining stage, searching for anything he could to make my stay on earth a bit longer.

"Edward—"

"Bella, no," he said, a fiercely intense expression on his face. "Don't you see? Don't you realize? I've waited almost a century for you. Now that I've found you, I can't let you go so easily."

I bit my lip. The fact of the matter was, I had already gone through my stages of grief. I had reached acceptance two weeks before I started public school. All I could hope for was to live the rest of my life the way I wanted.

The thing I realized about my life was that I had spent most of it trying to please others. I was homeschooled to put my mother at ease. I did everything my father ever told me to do. I never put a toe out of line to keep my parents happy. I went through my leukemia treatments without complaint because I knew my parents wanted to hold onto their little girl just a little while longer. And now, there was nothing left anyone could do. I wanted to spend these last weeks for me. I wanted to make sure that when I passed away, I wouldn't regret anything. I wouldn't be wishing there was something more I could do. I wanted to be at peace.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked.

I jumped and suddenly felt very glad that I was the one exception to his talent. "I was thinking about my life," I said truthfully.

His arms tightened around me. "You're not going to die, Bella. I won't let it happen."

I suddenly couldn't take it anymore. "Why?" I demanded angrily as I pushed myself out of his arms. "Why won't you let me die?"

The shock and hurt flashed across his face for a moment, but he quickly composed his face into an expression of polite detachment. "I'm sorry," he said very formally. "I know that all this talk of death is upsetting—"

"No, it's not," I said quietly, suddenly hating myself for my sudden outburst and for hurting him. "And I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

In less than a second, I was back in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. The moment I spotted those pools of dark gold, I knew I was lost. He leaned forward and pressed his cool lips against mine and I sighed in blissful happiness. If I had my way, my lips would have been glued to Edward's until I died.

He pulled away all too soon. "We have to leave soon if we want to get to the concert on time."

I scoffed. "You're going to speed anyways."

"Your parents don't know that."

I sighed. "You're right." Then I turned to my pitifully empty closet and stared at it for a few moments. Then I dug into the very back and pulled out a pair of dark washed jeans and my red Paramore t-shirt. With my garments in hand, I rushed out of my room and to the bathroom to put them on.

When I came back to my room, I gave a little twirl for Edward. "What do you think?" I asked. "Concert-y enough?"

He smiled. "Very. You'll fit right in."

I quickly dashed to my closet to pull out my checkered black and white Vans. After slipping them on my feet I turned to my boyfriend and smiled. "Okay, I'm ready."

He led me down the stairs, making sure that I didn't trip and fall on my face. When I reached the first landing, I went into the kitchen where I knew my mother would be. "Bye, Mom," I said as I hugged her tightly. "Edward and I are going now."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she hugged me back. "Stay safe, sweetie," she whispered. "And stay close to Edward and Emmett! And try not to get lost!"

"I will," I promised. Then I ran into the living room where my father sat in front of the TV, watching some game.

"Bye, Dad," I told him as I hugged him tightly.

"Bye, Bells," he said sadly. "Have fun."

After I finished saying goodbye, Edward and I descended the front steps and climbed into his car. "This is your last chance to change your mind," he warned. "After we pick up Emmett, there's no going back."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to change my mind."

He frowned but didn't say anything. We pulled out of my driveway in silence and reached his house in no time. The moment I came into view house, Emmett and Alice were already beside the car.

"What took you so long?" Emmett complained.

"I had to drive slowly for the parents," Edward told him. I rolled my eyes, but he only grinned at me indulgingly.

"Let's go!" Alice squealed excitedly.

"Calm down, Alice," Edward told her. "The show's not for another four hours."

"Hey, Bella, have you ever been crowd surfing before?" Emmett asked me excitedly.

I giggled. "No."

"Do you want to?"

Edward growled, but I ignored him. "What's it like?"

"It's a lot of fun. People are just passing you along. But you might have to be careful because sometimes guys reach in inappropriate—"

"Emmett!" Edward shouted.

I rolled my eyes at my boyfriend. "He was just trying to give me a heads up, Edward. You don't have to bite his head off."

"Yeah," exclaimed Emmett like a petulant five-year-old. "Listen to your girlfriend, Edward. I was only trying to warn her."

"She only needs warning if she's going to be crowd surfing at all. And she's not." He shot me a glare and I scowled at him.

Our exchange was cut off by the sound of Alice's giggles. Then Edward groaned.

"What?" I asked bewilderedly. "What's going on?"

"You'll see," Alice chuckled.

"Are we there yet?" Emmett suddenly asked.

"No," Edward bit out.

"Why not?" the gigantic vampire in the backseat complained. "We've been driving for five minutes already!"

"Shut up," Edward growled.

"Hey, do you think if Hayley Williams was turned into a vampire, she'd have superhuman vocal chords?" he asked excitedly.

"She'd be like a banshee," Alice piped up. "Her scream was fatal to anyone who heard it!"

"Or she could be like those sirens from Greek mythology," I added. "Anyone who heard her would be drawn to her voice."

Alice scoffed. "She already does that."

"Are we there yet?" Emmett asked again.

"No!" Edward shouted impatiently. I grinned in spite of my boyfriend's obvious anger. It was good to know that humor could still be found in any situation.

**A/N - So I'm going to be out of town for the upcoming weekend. You know what that means? That means you guys should leave loads and loads of reviews! Yay!**


	14. Edward: I'm Not Faking This

**Edward: I'm Not Faking This**

"That was absolutely amazing!" squealed Bella as I walked her to her front door. "The way they were all dressed and the way Hayley just sang…it was so awesome! That was the most amazing night of my life!"

I chuckled at my love's excitement. "I'm glad that you found enjoyment out of it."

She frowned. "Didn't you?"

"I did," I said very lightly. "I just find the atmosphere in concerts a little stifling sometimes. Everything is so loud and the roar of unspoken thoughts can be a little overwhelming as well."

Her mouth dropped open in horror, an action that she performed whenever she realized she had forgotten to take my…"condition" into consideration. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I never should have made you come."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't honestly expect me to let you go to a rock concert by yourself, do you?"

"I wasn't by myself. Alice and Emmett were with me."

"Oh yes. That definitely would have put me at ease. Especially when Emmett was absolutely set on having you crowd surf before the night was over."

Bella giggled as she opened the door to her room and let me in. "You have to admit, it was kind of funny when he lifted me above his head and just started running through the pit."

A reluctant smile tugged on the corners of my lips when the mental image of my brother holding my giggling girlfriend and screaming like a maniac as he effortlessly parted the alarmed crowds at the concert came to mind. "Regardless, it wasn't very safe."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "It's not like Emmett was going to drop me." She stuck her tongue out at me and I chuckled. "And besides, no one was going to go anywhere near him. He practically growled when someone got within twelve feet of us."

Upon entrance of her bedroom, she rushed out to the bathroom to get ready for bed and say goodnight to her already sleeping parents. When she had finished all the necessary nighttime preparations, she came running back to her room and leapt into my waiting arms as I sat on her bed.

"I missed you," I murmured in her ear as she snuggled into my chest. Every moment spent apart from her lasted an hour.

She chuckled. "I was only gone for a few minutes," she reminded me.

"It didn't feel like it," I replied as I nuzzled the skin in the cradle of her neck and shoulder. We stayed like that for a little while, content to revel in each other's presence. Then she climbed out of my arms to retrieve the list she had pinned to her wall. She took a pencil from the cup on her desk and crossed off one of the items on it. "What's left?" I inquired as I stood from her bed and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind.

"Watching every Audrey Hepburn movie ever made, eating three extra large cheese pizzas in three hours, and overcoming my stage fright and singing in a concert hall," she replied.

"Hmm, I'm sure you can accomplish the first two at the same time," I pondered aloud. Then I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "Although why you would want to consume three extra large cheese pizzas in three hours is beyond me."

Bella stuck her tongue out at me in a ridiculously cute expression. "You stick to your mountain lions and I'll eat my cheese pizzas."

She lay back down on the bed and I snuggled next to her, my arm wrapped around her head with my fingers entwined in her soft hair. "What would you sing?" I asked.

Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I don't know. Maybe 'Moon River'. Or some show tunes…something from _Phantom_, I think." She lifted her head to look at me. "Would you accompany me if I asked?"

"Of course." What kind if question was that?

Bella nodded satisfactorily and settled further into my arms. "But that's if I actually go through with it. I doubt it at this point."

I frowned against her temple. "Why?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know. I can hardly sing in front of my parents. What makes you think I can sing in front of a bunch of strangers?"

I thought carefully on her statement. "What if you didn't sing in front of strangers? What if you sang for people you knew?"

Her face was hidden from my view, but I could still feel her grimace. "That's even worse. Then I'd know what they were thinking…they'd say I'm horrible and I should stop. Like some kind of induced torture."

I curled my finger underneath her chin and brought her face up to mine. "I don't understand why you feel the need to demean your own talent. You have a lovely voice…much better than Hayley Williams'."

Her warm brown eyes rolled in their sockets. "You're just saying that."

I shook my head firmly. "No, I'm not. You really have a lovely, warm tone, much like the rest of you. I often wish you would sing louder."

Bella sighed. "Let's not talk about it anymore tonight. I'm really tired."

I nodded and tucked her head underneath my chin. "Then sleep, love. I'll be here in the morning."

I felt her breathe in deeply as she snuggled in closer to me. "Goodnight, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.

When her breaths became steady, I finally allowed my thoughts to stray where I had previously refused to let them anywhere near.

Jasper had suggested it weeks ago. Emmett agreed and though Alice feared angering me, I knew she felt the same way. Carlisle said if it were ever to happen it would need to be soon.

Truth be told, I had been considering the possibility myself. In the rare moments I spent away from Bella, I was in the hospital poring over her charts, researching similar cases and grasping at straws in general to find a way to cure her disease. I entertained the possibility of a bone marrow transplant, but I realized it was much too late; the quarantine process took six weeks and there wasn't a close enough match for her bone marrow anyways. No matter where I turned, all roads pointed to the same, desperate conclusion.

The only way for Bella to survive this was to turn her into a vampire.

I pulled her closer to me at the horrible thought. Luckily, she didn't stir.

The idea tore at me. On one hand, I relished the idea of spending eternity with her. If she were immortal, I wouldn't need to be so careful with her. And making her a vampire would mark her as mine in a way no other method could. We would spend lifetimes together, happily and I would no longer be the odd man out of my family.

Unfortunately there were disadvantages to the prospect as well. The human things I loved so much about her would cease to exist. Her smell, her clumsiness…the way she blushed when I turned to look at her…all of that would be gone. But worst of all, I would condemn her to a life of insatiable thirst. She would no longer be the innocent, carefree young girl she was…she would forever be a slave to that desperate, disgusting hunger that I had been struggling for years to overcome.

But I knew I had little time. If I were going to turn her, I would need to explain to her soon. I could smell her blood getting weaker and her complexion became paler day by day. She was also probably in a great deal of pain, though she never complained.

"Oh, Bella," I whispered softly. I loved her so much. I loved her tenacity, her youth, her energy despite her disease. She deserved so much more than the terrible hand she was dealt. Yet she continued to live her life contentedly, crossing off her daily goals with a smile on her face.

I had to discuss the possibility with my family. If it were the only way to save her, I needed to ask their advice first.

Gently, I slid my arms out from underneath her and tucked the comforter over her body. When I was sure she was still soundly asleep, I stole out of the window and ran back to my home.

As expected, the entire family was in the living room by the time I reached the clearing. No doubt Alice told them of my decision.

"No," Rosalie said vehemently, the moment I strode through the front door. "You can't."

I nodded grimly. I had been expecting this reaction from her.

"I think you should," Jasper contested over Rosalie's loud growls. "You've exhausted all other options…there's no other choice."

Emmett nodded his agreement. "It's the only way."

I turned to the couch Esme and Alice were sitting on. My sister nodded and my mother smiled. "Oh, Edward," she said softly. "I've never seen you as happy as you are with Bella. I couldn't bear to see you unhappy if she were to die."

My jaw tightened at the thought of Bella dying, but I nodded. "Thank you," I said quietly.

"No!" Rosalie screamed. "You can't! I won't let you!"

"Why?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"It is not our place," she spat through clenched teeth. "It is not our lives that we are condemning to this hell. All of you sit here, debating over her immortality without her here, as if her opinion doesn't matter. I shouldn't be here! None of us should be here and yet we are! I would rather be dead than confined to this life!" She flung her finger out at Carlisle. "You should have let me be!"

Surprisingly, Carlisle nodded. "She's right, Edward. You must inform Bella of the option and give her time to consider the consequences. And you must do it soon."

I turned to Alice. "How much longer does she have?"

My sister's eyes were indescribably sad. "Two weeks."

I nodded tightly. It was settled; I would have to tell her tomorrow. It was her only chance.

* * *

I watched in fascination and horror the next day as my girlfriend battled her way through the very last slice of pizza in the box. She stuffed the last bit of crust in her mouth and pumped her fists in the air triumphantly as she chewed. "Yes!" her shout was muffled around mouthful. "I did it!"

I laughed. "You most certainly did."

She finally swallowed and patted her taut belly. I noticed sadly that the leukemia had eaten away at her already slender body, leaving her as nothing more than a stick. Hopefully this huge meal would serve to fatten her frame. "I don't think I can eat for another week…"

I chuckled and pulled her closer to me. On the television screen in front of us, Audrey Hepburn was twirling around in a sparkling ball gown with Rex Harrison.

"I love her dress," Bella sighed as she snuggled closer to me. "It's so eye-catching, but so understated at the same time. She was so classy."

I murmured my assent. "I remember thinking she had a sort of quality about her," I said. "She sparkled on screen, much brighter than any star of the time." I buried my nose in her soft hair and inhaled her pungent fragrance. "But she's nothing compared to you," I whispered.

I smelled the blood rushing to her face and I smiled.

When the final credits rolled, Bella lifted her head to face me, a wide grin on her tragically pale face. "Thank you for watching that with me," she said soulfully. "And watching me eat three extra large cheese pizzas."

I grimaced at the memory. "One of the strangest things I've ever seen in my life," I declared.

When the VHS had run out, I turned off the television. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what I was about to say. It was now or never.

"Bella," I whispered. "What if there was a way for you to live?"

She stopped and turned her head, her brown eyes wide with disbelief. "What?" she breathed.

"What if there was a way for you to survive your leukemia? Would you take it?"

She bit her lip. "It depends. What are you trying to say, Edward?"

I chose my next words very carefully. "There's a way for you to live, Bella," I said very slowly. "But it comes with a great price."

Her already vast eyes widened even further. "You're offering to turn me into a vampire, aren't you?"

I nodded grimly.

She bit her lip. "How would it work?"

I explained the entire process. I told her about the venom, about the intense pain. I didn't downplay the agony at all; I wanted to impress upon her how much it would hurt.

She was quiet for a moment. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"You haven't much time left," I replied. "Alice says you have two weeks and I didn't want tell you about this…option…until all others were exhausted."

Silence. Then, "What would you have me do?"

My heart broke at the desperation I saw in her eyes. "Bella, I'm a selfish creature; I believe I've told you before. If you chose this life, you would be by my side for all of eternity. I would love you, cherish you, protect and defend you until the end of time. Can you understand how happy I would be? I've never needed anyone more than I need you."

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she brought her hand to my face and gently stroked my cheek. "Oh, Edward…"

"Bella, can't you see?" I whispered passionately. "Even when I was human, I was never alive. I was never able to truly breathe until I met you. You are everything to me, now and forever. If you…if you died, I just…"

She was crying freely now. "Edward, don't say that," she whispered. "You can't feel that way about me. You can't—"

"I can, and I do," I interrupted lightly. "I didn't want this to be the last option, but it is. And I want you so desperately to say yes. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted in my life."

Bella didn't bother to respond. Instead, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine frantically, as if the answers she wanted were in my mouth. I kissed back, anxious to impress upon her how much I needed her.

It was the most distressed and most amazing of kisses I ever shared with her. I felt my need meld with hers, forming one intense desire. But I also felt my desperation clash with her reluctance, and the sensations were bittersweet. _Oh, Bella…oh, Bella…_

**A/N - Heh...so... I know this chapter is so incredibly long overdue. I'm a terrible person for keeping ya'll waiting. I'm sorry! But now that the school year is over, I'll be able to write more, hence updates will be much sooner. Yay!**

**I'm also nearing the end of the story. It's going to be a homestretch...with some insane twists that I'm pretty sure none of you are expecting. ;)**

**Don't forget to review!**


	15. Bella: My Heart

**A/N - New chapter! Get excited!**

**Bella: My Heart**

_"You are everything to me, now and forever."_

Edward's words were still ringing in my head the next day as I lay there in my clearing. I cried when he whispered those desperate pleas to me, terrified and thrilled at the same time. He loved me…he love _me_. The most perfect, most amazing creature in the entire world loved me, loved me enough to turn me into a vampire.

Instinctively, I knew that this would happen in the end. I didn't understand at first, but now it all made sense. My dreams had been guiding me to this moment; they had been leading up to this choice. This terrible choice that had be made.

I had been weighing the pros and cons of each side since Edward officially made the option known to me. The pros included everlasting life, inhuman strength, speed and beauty. But the greatest advantage was a life with Edward. If I became a vampire, I would be able to live all of eternity (literally) with the one I loved. People vowed eternity to their significant others all the time. Words like "forever" and "everlasting" made appearances in wedding vows all the time, but the couples were always lying to each other. No matter how much they loved each other, even if they remained married until the day they died, they eventually no longer stayed together. They couldn't be together until the end of time; but Edward and I _could_. We could stand in a tiny chapel somewhere and swear ourselves eternally. And we could keep that promise.

However, the cons included insatiable thirst. Edward and Alice both made sure to emphasize this point. Should I decide to join the undead, I would forever be a slave to my desire, my primal instinct for human blood. There were success stories: Carlisle, for one, had never slain a human. Rosalie as well, had never tasted a drop of human blood. I asked Edward why there was such a distinction, but he shook his head lightly and said it wasn't his story to tell.

In addition to the monstrous bloodlust, I would lose my mother and my father. This disadvantage was slightly **o**ffset by the fact that I would be gaining a new mother and father and a set of siblings. I would never be without a family, but nothing could replace the mother and father I currently had. They were with me through the worst of the disease; my mother held my hand during my chemotherapy and my father helped me shave my head when my hair started falling out. Nothing could make me forget what they had done for me, and leaving them in their most desperate times seemed unfair, unjust and ungrateful. How could I leave them while they mourned my false death? How could I turn my backs on them and let them die without me at their deathbeds?

I continued to ponder the staggering decision before me when I heard a soft voice drift to me in the wind. "Bella," it whispered. It wasn't Edward—it was too high-pitched. I sat up and turned my head around to see who it was. To my intense surprise, Rosalie Hale, the picture of beauty and loveliness herself, stood at the edge of the clearing.

"Rosalie?" I asked in astonishment.

"Do you mind if we have a word?"

"No, not at all," I told her.

She needed no more invitation than that. Rosalie swiftly strode to me and settled herself i**n** the grass. "Edward told me you skipped your last class to spend some time in this clearing," she explained. "I thought that this would be a good time to speak to you alone, without my brother around."

I nodded. It suddenly struck me as odd that she was actively seeking me out to talk.

"I assume you're wondering why I want to talk to you in private," she said, as if reading my mind.

I smiled and nodded again, to show that I was encouraging her.

"Edward's already told you about your…options. I'm here to convince you to resist."

Shock rippled through me. Did she loathe me that much? Did she detest my joining her family this strongly?

The hurt must have been eviden**t** on my face because she quickly began again. "Bella, I don't hate you. Despite what Edward or anyone else in my family may think, I don't hate you. In fact, I admire you sometimes." She smiled a little. "You bear this illness with such bravery. I went to medical school for a time—did you know that? I know that you must be going through intense pain, and yet you don't say a word. You think of others before you think of yourself, and I think that's wonderful."

I blushed at her words. Praise from Rosalie was truly something indeed.

"But you shouldn't accept this offer," she continued. "This existence isn't natural—it steals the choices humans posses. As vampires, we are left with a rigid existence, governed by stiff rules and limited by our monstrous natures. Had I been human, I would have chosen to bear a child—in fact, I want nothing more than to raise a child and be a mother. But that choice was robbed from me. Even activities as trivial as choosing what to eat for breakfast are no longer significant. You won't realize that you miss the option until you lose it.

"And you're seventeen now—try being seventeen for a hundred years. You will have to live and abide by the socially prescribed roles of your appearance. Jasper has been twenty years old for well over a century now, and he continues to play the role of a pubescent high school student."

"But roles change," I argued. "In the eig**h**teen hundreds I should have been married by now. In the early nineteen hundreds I would have learned to read and that was the end of my schooling. Who knows what could happen one hundred years from now?"

Rosalie nodded. "But after living as long as we have, you start to realize that at its core, human nature never changes. Societies may transform but at the end of the day, humans are exactly the same as they were thousands of years ago."

I bit my lip. "Do you regret Carlisle changing you?"

She sighed. "No, I don't. If Carlisle hadn't changed me I never would have met Emmett, and I love him more than anything and anyone in the world. Opportunities have been opened to me that I never would have imagined had I stayed in my sheltered life in 1933, but…had I the choice as you do, I would have declined."

At that moment, the bell rang, echoing through the vast wooded area surrounding the school. In a flash, Rosalie was standing. "I should go, before Edward finds me here."

I nodded. "Thank you," I said sincerely. "I really appreciate the fact that you came to talk to me about this."

A tiny smile pulled on the corners of her lips and I felt my heart tug despairingly. She was indescribably beautiful, even with such a small expression. How I wished I could do that. "Thank you for listening," she answered. "And I hope you'll think about what I've said."

"I will."

Then she ran off befor**e** I could say another word.

Moments later, Edward was at my side. I looked up to smile at him, but my expression faltered when I saw his own cloudy visage. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He puckered his lips for a moment before replying. "I heard what Rosalie told you."

I sighed. Of course he was listening. "She was only trying to better inform me."

Still, his expression did not clear up. Then I realized why he was so upset. "Edward—"

"She's right, you know," he said quickly. "When you're a vampire, you won't have as many choices as you did when you were a hu**m**an."

I tried again. "I know, but—"

"And you'll never be able to conceive," he continued, speaking so fast that I had to concentrate incredibly hard to catch everything he was saying. "And you will have to conform to the social role of your age. All of what she said was true."

"Edward, I know," I said as soothingly as I could. "I know. I've heard the stories. But you shouldn't feel guilty."

His expression was so tragically wretched that I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him close. "Don't feel guilty."

"I can't help it," he whispered miserably. "I know all the things you'll lose if you decide to become a vampire, but…but I can't help but pray that you will say yes."

My heart broke at his predicament. "Edward," I breathed. "Oh, Edward, do you believe me when I say that I love you?"

He chuckled humorlessly. "Hardly."

I held his face in my hands and brought his face to mine. "Edward," I said, gazing deeply into his ocher eyes, "I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and if there were any way that I could cure you of this ridiculous guilt, I would gladly pay the price."

He didn't answer. Instead, he leaned forward and pr**e**ssed his cold lips against mine. My own softer lips molded around his and my arms wrapped around his neck as his held me close by the small of my back. I wish I could have stayed like that for the remainder of my life—sitting there in a secluded meadow in the arms of my beloved.

"You're too good for me," he murmured when he finally pulled away. "How did I deserve someone as beautiful as you?"

I smiled. "You were born." He chuckled and kissed me again.

His kisses began to trigger a need within me—something powerful, primal. Something so basic, yet incredibly necessary. I blushed at the path my thoughts began to travel. The sudden rush of blood to my cheeks caused Edward to press me even harder against him and the urge grew even stronger.

For a brief moment, Edward pulled away and began to trail kisses along my neck. "You're blushing much more than usual," he commented. "Any particular reason?"

I swallowed. "Uh, yes."

He brought his head up and his curious eyes bore into mine. "What is it?"

I ducked my head in embarrassment. "Well there…there's one more thing that I want to do before I…before I die. Or before I make this decision."

His eyebrows climbed his smooth forehead. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "I know we've talked about this before and you've said that it wouldn't be a good idea." I was rushing through my words which made them hardly cohere**n**t to my ears, but I knew he could understand everything I was saying. "But…but I may never know what it feels like, even as a human."

I could hear the frown in his voice. "Know what feels like?"

Here it goes. "Sex," I mumbled.

Edward stiffened. "Bella—"

"I know," I cut him off quickly before he could say anything else. "I know you said that I could get hurt, that you could kill me, but I love you. I love you and I want to show you that I love you."

He tried again. "Bella—"

"And besides, I'm already in a lot of pain." I hated pulling that card, but I felt it was necessary at this point. "What's a little more?"

"Bella—"

"Before you say no, I just want to say that I don't want to die a virgin. I've already found the love of my life and when you find the love of your life, you make love to them. Finding love leads to making love. That's the social convention."

I knew I was babbling. The words were just coming out like vomit, but I couldn't help them. I was trying to delay the inevitable rejection as long as I could. Besides, he always expressed the desire to know what I was thinking; well, that was what I was thinking.

But instead of responding with words as I expected, he leaned forward and kissed me with a **d**istinct edge of seriousness. I kissed back, though I was a bit bewildered. This was clearly not rejection.

He pulled his mouth away from mine and trailed soft kisses down my jaw and into the soft skin underneath. "You don't have to make love to me to prove yourself."

I was gasping for air at that point, trying to get enough oxygen to reply. "I know," I finally managed to say. "But I want to. I want you to know that I'm yours."

He didn't answer for a long time; he just continued to trail his icy lips along the sensitive skin of my neck, leaving a burning trail as he went. Then he pulled back, his face just inches away from mine. "Are you sure?"

"More than you know."

That was all he needed to hear. In an instant, his lips were back at my neck, planting kisses until he finally reached my mouth. My hands tangled themselves in his silky copper hair, relishing the way his locks slipped between my fingers. Edward's hands were at my hips, slowly lifting the hem of my shirt to tease the sensitive skin underneath. Though his skin was cold, his touch set me on fire.

Gently—ever so gently—he leaned forward and I leaned back until he was lying on top of me though I felt none of his weight. Then he tenderly positioned us so that we were both on our sides but still facing each other. His fingers continued to play at the hem of my shirt while mine continued to dance in his hair.

His hand reached underneath my shirt and gently rubbed my stomach. I shivered with delight at his cold touch. He must have sensed how I felt because soon both of his hands were underneath my shirt, running up and down my sides.

Edward's actions made me feel a little braver. I disentangled my fingers from his hair and let my hands trail down his face to his shoulders and from his shoulders to his chest. I could feel his hard, well muscled chest underneath the thin fabric of his shirt. With trembling fingers, I found the first button and undid it. I continued with deliberate actions, and soon his entire shirt was unbuttoned.

Meanwhile, Edward's hands were slowly inching up my stomach bringing the hem of the shirt with him. When they finally reached my bra, his cold hands grazed over the tops of my breasts and I shivered at the mere hint of the touch. Then he gently helped me sit up a little so he could lift my shirt up over my head. Our mouths separated for a second, but they reunited soon afterwards.

I reached forward and let my hands explore the contours of his defined chest. Women often boast about how hard their boyfriends' chests are, but I think I can safely say that Edward has the most rock solid chest of anyone out there. My fingers trailed over his muscles and I felt rather than heard the groan in the back of his throat. My hands slowly traveled all over his torso before climbing back to his shoulders and slipping the rest of his shirt off. His hands left my sides for a brief moment to allow me to push the shirt off his arms.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear as my hands started to explore his chest once more. I heard the slight tremor in his voice and I felt vaguely satisfied and proud of myself. "You are driving me crazy."

"Duly noted," I replied.

He trailed his kisses from my ear gently from my ear down my neck and to my chest. I made a quick, passing mental note to thank Alice for buying me that lingerie after all. His mouth planted a soft kiss at the tip of my cleavage and I shivered.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, so softly that that I could barely hear him. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe I'm here with you."

He lifted his head back to mine and kissed me once more, but with a much more joyful, much more grateful and sweet touch that I almost cried from the beauty of it. Here, I lay with an angel sent from heaven to relieve me of my pain. I was more grateful in that moment than I ever had been in my entire life.

**THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT A/N THAT I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO READ.**

**A/N - Phew! That was probably one of the most difficult chapters I've enver had to write. Not only was Rosalie just exhausting, but I was blushing through the entire second half of it. ;) I want you guys to know right now that I'm not going to get any more graphic than that. Please don't ask me to because I was already stretching my comfort zone with the part I did write.**

**The end of the story is rapidly approaching. I think it might be one or two more chapters before the epilogue. I don't know whose point of view I want to end on yet; that's the decision I need to make first before determine how much of the story is left.**

**Now, I'm sure you guys noticed the sporadically bolded and underlined letters throughout this chapter. Well, when you string all the letters together, they spell out...the title of my new _Twilight_ story! Yes, friends, that was a shameless plug. If you get the chance, please check it out! I'm really proud of it.**

**Don't forget to review (or I might just "forget" to update).**


	16. Edward: In the Arms of an Angel

**Edward: In the Arms of an Angel**

"Edward, I think it's a terrific idea!" Alice cried the moment I walked through the front door of my home. "I'll call the principal tonight…but I don't think they have a big enough venue." She frowned at the thought. "Well, if not we could just convert the piano room into a concert hall! We'll invite everyone in town—it will be the biggest event of the year!"

"Alice," I warned. "Don't make it too big. You know how shy Bella is. She's not even sure if she wants to do this anymore."

"She does," my sister replied flippantly. Images began to flash through her head of different ideas on how to best showcase Bella's talents. I sighed; there was no way Alice was going to give up on this now that she was started.

"Please show some restraint," I begged. "And tell Bella about your huge plans beforehand. I don't want her to be uncomfortable during this."

"She won't," she reassured. "What do you think she'll sing? And if you're going to accompany her, you'll have to wear your tuxedo…oh, what if she wants to do a lounge act? Either way, she needs a new dress. I have so much work to do…"

I shook my head as my tiny sister danced away, her head filled with half-formed plans of Bella's huge talent exhibition. For the past several days, I had been toying with the idea of having Bella cross off her life's final ambition with a massive display, in front of all her friends and family. Obviously, Alice agreed.

A wide smile crawled across my face when I thought of Bella. I had just returned from our afternoon in the meadow, and the only word I could think of was magical. Those moments, lying in the gently blowing grass with the love of my life was nothing short of a miracle. The way she gave herself to me so selflessly almost broke my heart with its beauty.

I was even more in love with her than I ever thought possible.

_Edward, you're starting to disgust me_, Jasper informed me as he walked into the room. The look on his face emphasized his thoughts.

I grinned. "Sorry, Jasper. I can't help it."

_What has you this content anyway? I didn't think you were even capable of this kind of emotion._

"Bella," I said simply. She was the excuse for all my happiness. She held the key to happiness. She was the sun of my formerly dreary, gray existence. She brightened every corner of my heart with her smile, with her touch, with her kiss. Just being around her made me feel whole.

_Your love for her is nauseating._ But Jasper was smiling nonetheless.

"Seriously, Edward, if you smile any harder your face is going to break." Emmett's booming voice crashed in my ear. I hadn't even noticed that he was in the room.

Normally, this would have given me license to punch him playfully, but I was too lighthearted to care. My head was in the clouds and I knew it.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Emmett asked aloud.

"Bella," Jasper answered.

Emmett whipped his head around and took a closer look at my facial expression. "Hey, I know that look," he said with dawning realization. "That's the same look I have whenever Rose and I—"

"Emmett!" shrieked his wife from somewhere upstairs. Jasper shook his head and I shuddered at the unspoken thoughts in my brother's head.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. But his realizations weren't finished yet. "Does this mean that you and Bella—"

"That's none of your buisness," I snapped. Unfortunately, the defensiveness in my voice was the answer to his unfinished question.

A loud holler of triumph echoed through the room.

"This is cause for celebration!" Emmett shouted. "Come on, Jasper! Go find Carlisle because this is a momentous occasion indeed!"

I looked up with pleading eyes to my more sensible brother, but his expression was solemn, his thoughts playful. "Our Edward is no longer a boy."

"He has transitioned into manhood."

"We must do something to commemorate this point in time."

"We must climb to the top of something very tall and pound our chests with superiority."

"We must challenge strangers to arm wrestling contests and glory in their defeat."

"We must grunt and bump our chests together."

"We must shoot innocent animals with big guns."

"We must drink beer and smash the cans against our heads."

"We must leave the toilet seats up."

Emmett shot him a confused look. "But we don't use toilets."

Jasper shrugged. "We don't drink beer either."

"Then we shall go to random houses and leave the toilet seats up."

"And we shall pour the beer on the ground before we smash the cans against our heads."

"And why?"

"BECAUSE WE ARE MEN!" they shouted at the same time. I rolled my eyes as they grunted like apes and pounded their granite chests with their fists.

Rosalie and Alice both appeared at the base of the staircase with disapproving expressions. "What are you two doing?" Rosalie demanded.

Emmett immediately dropped his manly façade and grinned sheepishly at his wife. "Nothing. We're just fooling around."

Alice scowled at her husband while Jasper gave her an embarrassed smile in return. "If you insist on being stupid, go outside. I have an event to plan! This is going to be the biggest event of Forks history and you two are DISRUPTING the creative juices!"

"Sorry, Alice," Jasper apologized.

"Yeah, sorry," Emmett added.

"And YOU!" screeched Alice as she rounded on me with an accusing finger.

"What did I do?" I demanded. I was in no way involved with the idiocies orchestrated by my brothers.

"You are being unproductive! Bella's been expecting you for fifteen minutes and I still need to know what the set list is before I go any further! God, Edward, don't you want this to be amazing for Bella? You're involved too, you know!"

"Fine, I'm going!" I shouted before Alice could harass me anymore.

"Go get her, tiger!" Emmett shouted as I raced out of the house. I heard the sound of two rocks crashing against one another and a sharp, "Ow!" from my biggest brother. I smiled to myself and made a mental note to thank Rosalie later.

Bella and her family had finished eating their dinner by the time I reached their house. She was already at her desk in her room, doing her homework.

When I climbed through her window, her head whipped around and the most brilliant smile broke across her face. It was almost as if the sun had come up in the middle of the night. "Edward," she sighed.

Wordlessly, I crossed the tiny room and wrapped her tiny frame with my arms. She pressed herself against my cold body and buried her head in my shoulder, content to soak up my presence as I memorized the way she felt encased in my hold.

"I missed you."

I chuckled. "I missed you too. Emmett and Jasper were being idiotic when I got home."

She looked up at me, her expression confused. "What were they doing?"

I rolled my eyes for effect. "They wanted to leave toilet seats up all around town to prove their masculinity."

She giggled and the sound reverberated pleasantly in my chest. "That sounds like something Emmett would do."

When her laughter subsided, I held her face in my hands and gently forced her to look up at me. My face was suddenly serious and she reacted appropriately. "How do you feel?" I asked. "Are you hurt? Do you feel strange?"

She shook her head, her eyes soft and her smile gentle. "No. I feel fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. How do you feel?"

My sudden grin was so wide, it threatened to spill off my face. "I feel amazing."

"Me too."

My long dormant heart leapt at her words. Very gently, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. I loved the way the molded against mine, the way her heart beat against my chest and the way the warm blood rushed to her face when I traced patters on her warm back with my cold fingers. She was so very beautiful, so amazing. I still couldn't believe that of all the men in this world, this angel chose me.

What have I done to deserve someone so pure, so selfless? I knew right then and there that I would work tirelessly, for the duration of my long life to prove myself worthy of her love.

"I love you, Edward," she breathed when I finally pulled away. "You are the most important person in this world to me."

I responded with a light kiss. "Your regard for me is ridiculous."

She made a face but didn't say anything.

When I finally let her go, she turned back to her homework, saying she had to do one last problem before she was finished. So while she finished her last trig problem, I read through the titles of her CD collection.

She finished quickly and joined me moments later. "Are you looking for something in particular?" she asked.

"No, not really," I hedged.

Bella laughed. "I don't know why you're even _looking_ at my CD collection. You have practically every album known to man."

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her waist. "I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"What songs would be included in the perfect female crooner concert?"

She bit her lip as she thought. "Well, 'Moon River' is a must."

"Of course."

"And 'Moondance'."

"A lot of moons."

She ignored my comment. "I'd throw in 'Can't Get Started' and 'I Wish You Love' too."

"Anything else?"

"And 'I'm Beginning to See the Light'. I love that song." Then her eyes narrowed as she brought her face to me. "Why do you want to know?"

I struggled to keep my face innocent. "I was just wondering."

"You know that I'm not going through with the whole concert hall thing after all, right?" she asked.

I grinned at her, knowing that it probably wouldn't make a difference. "Alice seems to be under a different impression."

She gasped. "What?"

"She's already started planning your musical debut."

"What!"

"You don't have to worry about anything," I said as soothingly as I could. "I'll be there on stage with you the whole time. Alice wants me to accompany."

"How exactly is she planning this?" she demanded testily.

"Well, she's starting to choosing the venue," I said, briefly reaching out for my sister's thoughts. "She's trying to find something big enough to fit her ideal guest list."

Bella's mouth dropped open in horror. "How many people is she inviting?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Well, from the looks of it, she's inviting the entire school—"

"No!"

"And she's extending the invitation to your family and your parents' friends, of course."

"There's no place in Forks big enough!" she shouted. "There is no building in this entire town that could house that many people!"

"She knows that. That's why she's entertaining the idea of turning the house into a temporary music hall."

Every part of Bella's face seemed to widen: her mouth was open in horror, her eyes were as round as quarters and her nostrils were flared in anger. It was quite an amusing reaction, to tell the truth. "She's only doing what she thinks you want."

"But I don't want this!" she cried. "It's too flashy!"

"Bella," I said patiently, taking her tiny hands in mine, "I thought that one of your life's ambitions was to sing in a crowded music hall in front of a large audience. The entire school population including your family and friends constitutes as a large audience, correct?"

She huffed impatiently. "Yes, but—"

"Then I fail to see the problem. If you're worried that she'll go over the top, I already took care of that. I'm overseeing the details of the event and I'll make sure that everything is to your liking."

She bit her lip. "You promise?"

"I promise." I kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose. "Anything for you, love."

**A/N - I feel as if a little light-heartedness is in order. I've been writing so much angst and heavy depression lately that I needed a little pick-me up. I hope you liked this chapter! And don't forget to review!**


End file.
